Funny movie quotes from Go West (1940) starring the Marx Brothers – Groucho, Chico, Harpo.
The Marx Brothers go out to the wild west, and here are some of the funniest quotes from the movie.
[Arriving at the railroad Station]
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Any of you boys got change for ten cents?
Porter: No.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Well, keep the baggage.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): You love your brother, don’t you?
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): No, but I’m used to him.
[as Quale destroys Rusty’s first hat]
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): Hey whataya do with that hat; that hat cost a lotta money.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): How much did it cost him?
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): I dunno; he stole it.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): There’s something corrupt going on around my pants but I just can’t seem to locate it.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Where have I seen your face before?
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): Right where it is now.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Madam why that baby constantly crying?
Mother on Stagecoach: He can’t stand the jerks in the coach.
[Harpo and Chico get up to leave]
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Lulubelle, it’s you! I didn’t recognize you standing up.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): You know there’s a drunk sitting at the first table who looks exactly like you? And one who looks exactly like me. Dull, isn’t it?
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): [dramatically] Suppose I brought you back to my native land. What- what would my people say?
Drunk in Saloon: Burp.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Well, they’d phrase it more delicately.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Time wounds all heels.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Didn’t we meet at Monte Carlo the night you blew your brains out?
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): I give you my solemn word as an embezzler I’ll be back in ten minutes.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): I’d have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn’t have a tape measure.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): There’s only one law in the west: the law of blood and bullets. It’s either shoot or be shot. What are we gonna do?
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): Sue ‘em!
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): [Obviously intoxicated, commenting on his glass having just been shot in half by Baxter] Less whiskey next time my glass can’t take it.
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): My father-a shot the Indians in eighteen forty-two
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Oh, he should-a shot the stork-a, when the stork-a brought-a you.
Red Baxter: I don’t like your faces.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): I suppose you think we like ‘em.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): I ask you, who swindled you out of Manhattan Island for $24?
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): White man.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Who turned you into wood and stood you in front of a cigar store?
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): White man.
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Who put your head on a nickel and then took the nickel away?
Joseph Panello (Chico Marx): Slot machine.
[Indicating a gag around the train engineer’s mouth]
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Did ya know this is the best gag in the picture?
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): [throwing a box of popcorn into the train’s boiler] Pop goes the diesel!
[Chico suggests telephoning for help]
S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx): Telephone? This is 1870. Don Ameche hasn’t invented the telephone yet!