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Funny movie quotes from Captain Marvel (2019)

Funny movie quotes from Captain Marvel (2019) starring Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson

Carol Danvers: I slipped.
Yon-Rogg: Right. You slipped. As a result of me punching you in the face.
Carol Danvers: I was already slipping when you happened to punch me in the face. The two of those are not related.

Carol Danvers: You have three names. What do people call you?
Nick Fury: Fury.
Carol Danvers: Just Fury?
Nick Fury: Yep. Not Nicholas. Not Joseph. Just Fury.
Carol Danvers: What does your mother call you then?
Nick Fury: Fury.
Carol Danvers: What do your friends call you?
Nick Fury: Fury.
Carol Danvers: Kids?
Nick Fury: If I ever have them? Fury.

Maria Rambeau: You call me ‘young lady’ again, I’ll shove my foot up somewhere it’s not supposed to be.
[awkward silence]
Talos: Am I supposed to guess where that is?

Carol Danvers: [Referring to the front of the baseball cap that Fury has given her] What is this?
Nick Fury: It’s a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo.
Carol Danvers: Does announcing your identity with branded clothing, help with the covert part of the job?
Nick Fury: …said the space soldier who’s wearing a rubber suit.

Nick Fury: Coulson. New guy. Guess he doesn’t hate me yet.

Nick Fury: You know anything about a lady blowing up a Blockbuster? Witnesses say she was dressed for laser tag.

Maria Rambeau: [to Carol] Your plan is to leave the atmosphere in a craft not designed for the journey, and you anticipate hostile encounters with a technologically superior foreign enemy. Correct?
[Carol nods]
Monica Rambeau (11 Years Old): That’s what I’m saying. You have to go!
Maria Rambeau: Monica.
Monica Rambeau (11 Years Old): You have a chance to fly the coolest mission in the history of missions. And you’re going to give it up to sit on the couch and watch Fresh Prince with me? I just think you should consider what kind of example you’re setting for your daughter.

Carol Danvers: Name a detail so bizarre, a Skrull can never fabricate it.
Nick Fury: If a toast is cut diagonally, I can’t eat it.
Nick Fury: You didn’t need that, did you?
Carol Danvers: No. No, I didn’t. But I enjoyed it.

Nick Fury: So… you’re not from around here.
Carol Danvers: It’s hard to explain.

Korath: You think you’re funny, but I’m not laughing.
Att-Lass: You never laugh.
Korath: I laugh, on the inside. And I’m not doing it now.

[At-Lass scans Goose]
Kree Computer: Species: Flerken. Threat: High.
[At-Lass clamps a muzzle on Goose]
Nick Fury: It’s a cat, not Hannibal Lecter.
[At-Lass scans Fury]
Kree Computer: Species: Human Male. Threat: Low to None.
Nick Fury: That thing’s clearly busted.

Carol Danvers: You knew all along. Is that why we never hung out?
Minn-Erva: No, I just never liked you.

Maria Rambeau: Can I ask you something? Do you just turn into anything you want?
Talos: Ah well, I have to see it first.
Maria Rambeau: Can you all do it?
Talos: Physiologically, yeah. But it takes practice and, um, dare I say it, talent to do it well.
Nick Fury: Can you turn into a cat?
Talos: What’s a cat?
Maria Rambeau: What about a filing cabinet?
Talos: Why would I turn into a filing cabinet?
Nick Fury: A venus fly trap. I’ll give you $50 right now if you turn into a venus fly trap.

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