Funny movie quotes from Abbott and Costello in Hollywood
Funny movie quotes from Bud Abbott and Lou Costello’s ‘Abbott and Costello in Hollywood’
Buzz Kurtis (Bud Abbott): Every time you open your mouth, what happens?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): I eat.
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): I gotta break the date.
Ruthie: What date?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): Don’t you remember? June 22nd?
Ruthie: June 22nd? I don’t remember anything about a date.
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): Oh, yes. Don’t you remember? I said I was gonna take you to the Palladium a long time ago, and you said, “See me next year.” Well, tonight the year is up.
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): [starting to shave Rags] Now, I got the razor and the smelling salts.
Rags Ragland: The what?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): The smellin’ salts.
Rags Ragland: What’s that for?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): I faint when I see the sight of blood.
Rags Ragland: Oh … [after a delayed reaction] Blood! Look, if you cut me, there’s gonna be plenty of blood, and it’s all gonna be yours!
Mr. Burvis, Ruthie’s Boss: [reacting to a verbal spat between two of his manicurists] My shop is for hair cutting, not hair pulling!
Gregory LeMaise: [In disguise with a beard] Did you ever hear the one about the guy who was so brave he stuck his right arm into a lion’s mouth, right up to there. [he motions to his shoulder]
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): [also in disguise] He stuck his right arm in a lion’s mouth up to there? [also motioning to his shoulder]
Gregory LeMaise: Yrah!
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): His right arm?
Gregory LeMaise: Yeah!
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): What’s his name?
Gregory LeMaise: Lefty! [he breaks into raucous laughter]
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): [he spills his drink into Ambercrombie’s turban which is on his lap] You get it?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): [both are laughing] I didn’t get it that time.
Gregory LeMaise: You didn’t?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): No, no.
Gregory LeMaise: Lefty! [he laughs even louder as Ambercrombie absentmindedly puts his turban on, drenching himself with the drink] [Ambercrombie stops laughing] You know, you’re a great fellow. You made me forget my troubles.
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): You’ve drowned mine!
Gregory LeMaise: [laughs] You’ve got troubles too?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): Yes, sir.
Gregory LeMaise: [laughing] No, but I’ve got real troubles. I killed a man!
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): [reacting to the camera] A man killed me. That’s why I’m wearing this fake beard.
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): A face like mine is hard to forget.
Buzz Kurtis (Bud Abbott): How do you know?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): I’ve been tryin’ for years!
Buzz Kurtis (Bud Abbott): You can’t sleep?
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): No.
Buzz Kurtis (Bud Abbott): I’ve got just the thing for you. Don’t go away. [He leaves the room, returning with a phonograph record] Well, pal, here it is.
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): What do you got there?
Buzz Kurtis (Bud Abbott): [reading the label] “Go To Sleep with Dr. Caswell Snide.”
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): Oh, no! I wanna sleep alone!
Buzz Kurtis (Bud Abbott): Now, listen. This is even better than you getting socked. You’re dead!
Abercrombie (Lou Costello): If I’m dead, then … then why am I so hungry?