Funny movie quotes from A Night in Casablanca (1946) starring the Marx Brothers (Groucho, Chico, Harpo), Sig Ruman – a very funny movie!
Ronald Kornblow (Groucho Marx): From now on the essence of this hotel will be speed. If a customer askes you for a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he askes you for a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he askes you for a one-minute egg, give him the chicken and let him work it out for himself!
Mr. Smythe: Sir, this lady is my wife. You should be ashamed.
Ronald Kornblow (Groucho Marx): If this lady is your wife, you should be ashamed.
Groucho and Chico
Corbaccio (Chico Marx): What you need is a good bodyguard.
Ronald Kornblow: What I need is a good body. The one I’ve got isn’t worth guarding.
Corbaccio: I be-a you bodyguard! I watch-a you like a mother watches a baby!
Ronald Kornblow: Is the mother pretty?
Corbaccio: Why?
Ronald Kornblow: Well, if she is, you watch the baby, I’ll watch the mother!
Corbaccio: [the bottle of champagne they’ve just uncorked turns out to be empty] Hey, you cheap crook, that bottle’s empty!
Ronald Kornblow: That’s “dry” champagne!
Ronald Kornblow: Now there’s a man with both feet on the ground… until they hang him.
Groucho and Beatrice
Beatrice Rheiner: My name’s Beatrice Rheiner. I stop at the hotel.
Ronald Kornblow: My name’s Ronald Kornblow. I stop at nothing!
Beatrice Rheiner: I shall be in the Supper Club.
Ronald Kornblow: The Supper Club?
Beatrice Rheiner: Yes. Will you join me?
Ronald Kornblow: Why? Are you coming apart?
Ronald Kornblow: After all, I’m a man and you’re a woman… and I can’t think of a better arrangement.
Beatrice Rheiner: Oh, come on now. You wouldn’t say no to a lady.
Ronald Kornblow: I don’t know why not? They always say no to me.
Ronald Kornblow (Groucho Marx): You know, I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the whole world.
Beatrice Rheiner: [eagerly] Do you really?
Ronald Kornblow: No, but I don’t mind lying if it’ll get me somewheres.
Ronald Kornblow: How about getting rid of that mutt?
Beatrice Rheiner: Oh, Frou-Frou’s a watchdog.
Ronald Kornblow: Well, let him watch somebody else.
Beatrice Rheiner: Oh, Frou-Frou won’t bother us. He has such good manners.
Ronald Kornblow: If he had such good manners, he’d get off your lap and give me a seat. He can stand up better than I can, he’s got twice as many legs.
Ronald Kornblow: [Bea and Kornblow are playfully blowing smoke at each other] This is like living in Pittsburgh – if you can call that “living”.