Final Exam Hymn – Final Exams week? Sung to the tune of ‘The Battle Hymn of the Republic’ …
(all together now!)
Mine eyes have seen the horror
Of the ending of the term.
It has poisoned all my spirits
Like an apple with a worm.
It’s infected all my freedom
Like an ugly cancer germ.
The truth shall soon be known.
Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation,
Failure and humiliation,
Failure, failure, academia,
The truth shall soon be known.
I have listened to the teachers
But the homework leaves me cold.
I have never done assignments
Although many times been told.
I have even missed my classes
When I was feeling bold.
The truth shall soon be known.
Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation,
Failure, and humiliation,
Failure, failure, academia,
The truth shall soon be known.
They are adding all my points up
And I haven’t earned but few,
In fact, I haven’t even gotten
More than one or two.
Oh, if I could only find an answer
Anything to do.
The truth shall soon be known.
Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation,
Failure and humiliation,
Failure, failure, academia,
The truth shall soon be known.
On the lines of every gradebook
There is solemn news for me.
The worst is yet to come when
Financial Aid ignores my plea.
So I guess the only answer is
To drop my books and flee.
The truth shall soon be known.
Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation,
Failure and humiliation,
Failure, failure, academia,
The truth shall soon be known.
Well, the end has finally come
And I have failed to pass a class.
Though the fun and laughter, goofing off
Was really quite a gas!
But I won’t be in the numbers
Of the capped and gowned mass;
The truth was finally shown.
Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation,
Failure, and humiliation,
Failure, failure, academia,
The truth was finally known!