Clues that you may be a redneck … with appropriate apologies to Jeff Foxworthy …
- You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
- You’ve ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil.
- You think the Bud Bowl is real.
- Your dog goes “oink!”
- Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.
- You know how to milk a goat.
- Your kids have a three-day-old Kool-Aid mustache.
- Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.
- You’ve ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside.
- Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.
- You have a refrigerator just for beer.
- You come back from the dump with more than you took.
- Your wife owns a camouflage nightie.
- You’ve ever worn cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.
- You don’t think baseball players spit and scratch too much.
- You think the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
- The most common phrase heard in your house is, “Somebody go jiggle the handle.”