Ronald Reagan jokes – the Great Communicator had a great sense of humor, and frequently used it to skewer his political opponents – enjoy!
- “Republicans think every day is the Fourth of July, but Democrats think every day is the Fifteenth of April.”
- A Republican was campaigning in a rural area that was primarily Democrat. He went to a farm and asked the farmer if he could give a speech. The farmer said wait a few minutes while I get my wife and family, they ain’t never seen no Republican before. They all gathered around so the Republican looked around for something to get up and stand on to give his speech from. The only thing he saw was a large pile of manure so he climbed up on top of it and gave his speech. When he was done he got down and the farmer told him it was a great speech since it was the first time he had ever heard a Republican speak. The Republican said thank you, it is the first time I ever spoke from a Democratic platform.
- “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.
- “Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”
- “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'”
- “Thomas Jefferson once said, ‘We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.’ And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.”
- “Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.”
- “I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.”
- “One way to make sure crime doesn’t pay would be to let the government run it.”
- “A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.”