Top Ten Reasons Churches Don’t Ask Clown Ministries to Return

Top Ten Reasons Churches Don’t Ask Clown Ministries to Return

1. They force people to smile during the 8:00 a.m. service.
2. It’s hard to say with dignity, “The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody.”
3. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under the pew cushions.
4. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime.
5. Clowns wearing blue curly wigs might be confused with elderly women.
6. Many denominations do not recognize seltzer water baptism.
7. Dribble glasses might be used during the communion service.
8. They have to pay janitors extra to get the silly string off the ceiling.
9. The junior highers pop their balloons during the closing prayer.
10. They realize they have enough clowns working there already.