Funny movie quotes from We Want Our Mummy — a classic Three Stooges short film, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Bud Jamison
Curly (Curly Howard): Well, I reckon since there’s no other place around the place, this must be the place, I reckon.
Larry (Larry Fine): That’s a mirij.
Moe (Moe Howard): A mirij is what you see yourself in; that’s a mirage.
Curly (Curly Howard): A mirage is what you keep your car in.
Curly (Curly Howard): After all of that running, we’re still in the same place.
Moe (Moe Howard): Okay, wise guy, you lead.
Curly (Curly Howard): But I …
Moe (Moe Howard): Get going.
Curly (Curly Howard): I’ll go when I’m ready.
Moe (Moe Howard): [threateningly] Are you ready?
Curly (Curly Howard): I’m ready. Follow me.
Larry (Larry Fine): [to Curly] When they find out you killed the mummy, they’ll kill us!
Curly (Curly Howard): C’mon, Rootin-Tootin old kid! Heh heh! Whoever crowned you king?
Moe (Moe Howard): I got an idea, we’ll make a mummy out of you.
Curly (Curly Howard): I can’t be a mummy, I’m a daddy!
Larry (Larry Fine): All right so you’ll be a daddy-mummy.
Curly (Curly Howard): Oh! That’s different.
Moe (Moe Howard): Weigh the anchor!
Curly (Curly Howard): Forty-two pounds!
Professor Tuttle: That wasn’t King Ruten-Tuten! That was his wife, Queen Hatsi-Tatsi! This is Ruten-Tuten! He was a midget!
Dr. Crowell (Bud Jamison): That means we’ll never find the missing king!
Curly (Curly Howard): [looks surprised, takes card out of his front pocket] How did YOU know the king was missing?
[Moe turns his head to look]
Curly (Curly Howard): I … Ooh!
[hides card before Moe can see]
Moe (Moe Howard): Oh, so you’re the one, eh? That’s how you won my thirteen cents!
[smacks Curly]
Moe (Moe Howard): [looking through telescope toward Egyptian desert, but with Larry’s head in the way] We’re coming to a jungle. I can see the underbrush! And camels walkin’ through it! No no, they’re octopus!
Larry (Larry Fine): I don’t see anything!
Moe (Moe Howard): [notices that he was looking at Larry’s hair] You will!
[hits Larry with the telescope]
Thug: [in tomb, with Curly laying on a table dressed up as King Rutin-Tutin] Hey, where are those jewels that are supposed to be buried with them?
Thug in Museum Basement: Oh, they always wrap ’em up inside the mummy. We’ll have to cut him open.
[with thugs looking away, Curly cringes, and unzips the front of his mummy costume]
Thug in Museum Basement: Let me have that sharp knife you have there.
[looks at ‘Rutin-Tutin’]
Thug in Museum Basement: He’s burst open!
[reaches inside Curly’s costume, pulls out newspaper]
Thug in Museum Basement: “Yanks win world series.” Can you beat that?
Curly (Curly Howard): Yeah, and I won five bucks!
Thug in Museum Basement: No kidding? I had the Cubs, and … WHAT?
Dr. Crowell (Bud Jamison): Gentlemen, you’re hired. We’re sending you to bring back the mummy of King Rutin-Tutin, you leave immediately for Cairo.
Curly (Curly Howard): Say I got an uncle in Cairo, he’s a chiropractor. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
[Moe punches him in the nose]
Museum Curator: And if you are successful, we will pay you 5,000 dollars.
Dr. Crowell (Bud Jamison): The recovery of the mummy will prove of untold value to science.
Moe (Moe Howard): For science!
Larry (Larry Fine): For science!
Curly (Curly Howard): For 5,000 bucks!
Moe (Moe Howard): [the Stooges find a sign post in the desert showing the locations of Cairo and Tunis] Oh, boy we’re nearly in Cairo. The tomb oughtta be around here someplace.
Curly (Curly Howard): I’ve gotta go to Tunis and then we can have tuna sandwiches for lunch.
[Moe slaps him]
Curly (Curly Howard): Oh!
Moe (Moe Howard): [what looks like the tomb of Rootin Tootin] Hey, he’s the real McCoy!
Larry (Larry Fine): McCoy, I thought his name was Rootin Tootin. [Moe raises his fist at Larry]
Curly (Curly Howard): Hey fellas, I found it.
Larry (Larry Fine): Found what?
Curly (Curly Howard): A tisket a tasket, [holds up a basket] that green and yellow basket. Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!
[Moe gives him an open hand shove in the face]
Curly (Curly Howard): Oh!
[Staggers back into a well]
Curly (Curly Howard): Woooah!
[Hits the bottom with a splash and gets Moe and Larry wet]