Funny movie quotes from Whistling in Brooklyn (1943), starring Red Skelton, Rags Ragland, Ann Rutherford
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): [opens his closet door, a woman falls out] big moths!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): You can’t be a press agent, you can’t even spell “cat”!
Chester (Rags Ragland): When I come to words like that, I just ignore ’em!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Put that bag in the car.
Chester (Rags Ragland): You can’t talk about Miss Pringle like that!
Carol Lambert (Ann Rutherford): Chester, the suitcase!
Chester (Rags Ragland): I got a sister who looks like a suitcase, I guess I’m prejudiced.
Chester (Rags Ragland): I got a twin brother who works on a newspaper, life job.
Jean Pringle (Jean Rogers): Life job?
Chester (Rags Ragland): The San Quentin Reader.
Editor: Where’s McGonagol?
Secretary: He went out to eat.
Editor: Where’s Schwartz?
Secretary: He’s eating, too.
Editor: Eating! I should have hired the Thin Man!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Not only am I constant Reader, but Willy the Lump Lump!
Carol Lambert (Ann Rutherford): [as police are shooting at her and Red] Aren’t they carrying a joke too far?
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Ah, those phony cops couldn’t hit a flea. [a bullet knocks his hat off; Red covers his head with empty suitcase]
Carol Lambert (Ann Rutherford): What are you doing?
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Flea-ing!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): In every paper? I dood it!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Who said that?
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): That Constant Reader is a killer!
Chester (Rags Ragland): You don’t look it.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): You know, a man with your brains shouldn’t be a nursemaid to a crankcase.
Chester (Rags Ragland): That’s what I always say!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): You should be a crankcase!
Chester (Rags Ragland): Boss, I’ll fix everything!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): That’s what I m afraid of.
Chester (Rags Ragland): Well, I thought that up last night in the bathtub.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): What were you doing in a bathtub?
Chester (Rags Ragland): Making beer.
Chester (Rags Ragland): Imagine, a girl that’s not a woman. That’s my Uncle Sally.
Jean Pringle (Jean Rogers): Your Uncle Sally?
Chester (Rags Ragland): Yeah, he’s a bearded lady in the circus.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Don’t take that off, the elevator will fall!
Chester (Rags Ragland): I did this in prison once, and it didn’t fall.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): That’s against the law of gravity.
Chester (Rags Ragland): That was before the law was passed.
Chester (Rags Ragland): Help! Help! All the blood’s rushing to my head!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Well, there’s plenty of room for it.
Jean Pringle (Jean Rogers): You can’t impersonate me!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Yes I can, I can act very stupid.
It’s so crowded in here I feel like a sardine.
Chester (Rags Ragland): You’re in the can, ain’t ya?
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Gee, it’s dark in here – how do you get out?
Chester (Rags Ragland): It normally takes me about 90 days.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Don’t touch things! Don’t leave your fingerprints here!
Chester (Rags Ragland): I’m not gonna – I’m taking ’em with me.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): You can go to where the days seem like weeks, and the weeks seem like years.
Creeper: Ah, I’ve been to Philidelphia.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): California, there’s the place, only place where you can get sunburn and pneumonia at the same time.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Do you know who I am?
Leo Durocher – Brooklyn Dodgers Manager: [Annoyed] I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll make an exception!
Creeper: Your gag went out with Santa Claus.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Santa Claus didn’t go out.
Creeper: There ain’t no Santa Claus!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): Whoever told you that?
Creeper: The Easter Bunny!
Chester (Rags Ragland): Hey boss, if we set the joint on fire, the fire department can take us out!
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): What’s to prevent us from burning up too?
Chester (Rags Ragland): I just get the ideas, I leave the details to you.
Chester (Rags Ragland): Last time I kissed a dame like that, she passed right out.
Jean Pringle (Jean Rogers): In your arms?
Chester (Rags Ragland): No, in my dreams.
Chester (Rags Ragland): You’re a man after my own heart.
Wally Benton (Red Skelton): You’re lucky, I had three men after mine!