Funny movie quotes from Scared Stiff, the Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis comedy
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): Look, I’ll save you a lot of time: I’m a ghostbuster.
Mr. Cortega (George Dolenz): A what?
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): Why you’ve heard of trustbusters, and bronco busters, and gangbusters? Well I’m a ghostbuster. So watch it, Buster.
Mary Caroll (Lizabeth Scott): Larry, why are you so nice to me?
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): I don’t know, I guess I’ve always been a sucker for girls named Mary Caroll.
Rosie (Dorothy Malone): I’m just an average girl.
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): Honey, if you’re an average girl then I’ve been dating boys.
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): I like it! I like it!
Rosie (Dorothy Malone): [after a long kiss] Am I going to see you later?
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): You certainly are.
Rosie (Dorothy Malone): I know a wonderful place for just the two of us.
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): Yeah, where?
Rosie (Dorothy Malone): In a telephone booth
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): [after a lingering kiss he ogles her] Remind me to bring along plenty of dimes.
Mary Caroll (Lizabeth Scott): You killed a perfect stranger?
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): Nobody’s perfect!
Tony Warren (William Ching): It’s worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own. Every once in a while, you see him walking about with dead eyes blindly following orders, not knowing what they do and not caring.
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): Just like husbands.
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): Hey, Larry, show business really gets in your blood, don’t it?
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): First you gotta have some.
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): We’re going up to that castle!
Myron Mertz: What about that old woman?
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): Oh, she’s only trying to scare us.
Myron Mertz: Well, she’s doing a really good job of it!
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): Lafayette, we are here.
Myron Mertz: [after an animal screeches loudly] I think Lafayette’s here too.
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): They got guns!
Myron’s Conscience: You can get a gun.
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): They got blackjacks!
Myron’s Conscience: You can get a blackjack.
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): They got big strong muscles!
Myron’s Conscience: …You can get a blackjack.
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): What’s the matter?
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): One of Shorty’s men. He’s looking for us.
[Myron goes in the trunk]
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): Is he coming?
Larry Todd: No, he’s just standing there looking around.
[One of Shorty’s goes into the ship]
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): Yeah, he’s gone now.
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): Don’t you worry, ’cause if he comes, I am going to stop him with one word.
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): What’s that?
Myron Mertz (Jerry Lewis): HELP!
Larry Todd (Dean Martin): [slaps the trunk] Ah, shut up you idiot, before you do get him down here.