String pun – A horrendous pun, with the different between a piece of string and a knot
One Christmas Eve, when all the presents had been wrapped, there were just three pieces of string left.
“You know, we’ll probably just be thrown on the fire,” String Number 1 said.
“Or in the garbage!” String Number 2 moaned.
“We can’t have that!” String Number 3 cried.
“So what can we do?” the other two pieces asked.
“Let’s go out for a meal!” String Number 3 suggested.
And off they went down to the “Greasy Penguin Cafe”. It was packed with Christmas revellers. String Number 1 said, “Right, fellows, what’ll we eat?”
“I’d like some tomato soup,” said String Number 2.
“And how about stuffed turkey to follow…and we could have Christmas pudding for dessert,” said String Number 3.
String Number 1 went to the counter and said, “Three tomato soups, three stuffed turkeys and three Christmas puddings, my good man!”
The waiter took one look at him and said, “Get lost, shorty. I don’t serve pieces of string …. and you’re just a piece of string!”
String Number 1 went back to the others. “He refused to serve me!”
String Number 2 asked, “Did you say ‘please’?”
“No,” admitted String Number 1.
“Then let me try!” String Number 2 went to the bar and said, “Three tomato soups, three stuffed turkeys, and three Christmas puddings, please.”
But the waiter replied, “Get lost, shorty. I don’t serve pieces of string … and you’re just a piece of string!”
String Number 2 went back to the others to report his failure. “Here, guys, let me try,” String Number 3 offered. But, before he went to the bar he tied a knot in the top of his head and fluffed the end out till he looked like a frayed piece of string.
He went up to the bar. “Three tomato soups, three stuffed turkeys and three Christmas puddings, please!”
The waiter looked at him and sighed. “Get lost, shorty. I don’t serve pieces of string … and you’re just a piece of string!”
And String Number 3 replied, “No, I’m a frayed knot!”