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Valentines Day jokes for married couples

Valentines Day jokes for married couples

  • Valentines Day - holding handsA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
  • Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
    After marriage, the ‘€œy’€ becomes silent.
    And so does the husband.
  • A husband said to his wife,
    ‘€œNo, I don’€™t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.’€
  • The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he’€™ll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
  • Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
    They’€™ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
  • A little boy asked his father, ‘€œDaddy, how much does it cost to get married?’€
    And the father replied, ‘€œI don’€™t know, son, I’€™m still paying for it.’€
  • A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
  • Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
  • The most effective way to remember your wife’€™s birthday is to forget it once.
  • Cosmetics: A woman’€™s way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.
  • Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute
  • Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
  • Marriage is a three ring circus:
    The engagement ring
    The wedding ring
    The suffering

 

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