One Liner Jokes

Thirteen One liner jokes

1. I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.
2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
3. I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks.  She doesn’t like to be interrupted.
4. People used to laugh when I would say, “I want to be a comedian.”  Well, nobody’s laughing now.
5. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.  I had to put my foot down.
6. I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.
7. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought, “This will change everything.”
8. My grandfather has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
9. I refused to believe that my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all of the signs were there.
10. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.
11. People say that I’m condescending.  That means that I talk down to people.
12. You can never lose a homing pigeon.  If your pigeon doesn’t return, what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
13. Whiteboards are remarkable.