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Christian one-liners

Christian One-Liners

  • Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
  • Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
  • Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
  • It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

  • The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
  • When you get to your wit’s end, you’ll find God lives there.
  • People are funny. They want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
  • Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
  • Quit griping about your church. If it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.
  • If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
  • God himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead, so why should you?
  • Some minds are like concrete — thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
  • Peace starts with a smile.
  • I don’t know why some people change churches. What difference does it make which one you stay home from?
  • A lot of church members who are singing “Standing On The Promises” are just sitting on the premises.
  • We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
  • Be ye fishers of men. You catch them. He’ll clean them.
  • Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
  • Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
  • Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
  • Forbidden fruits create many jams.
  • God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.
  • God grades on the cross, not the curve.
  • God loves everyone, but probably prefers “fruits of the spirit” over “religious nuts!”
  • God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
  • He who angers you controls you.
  • If God is your copilot, swap seats.
  • Prayer: don’t give God instructions, just report for duty!
  • The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us.
  • The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you.
  • We don’t change the message. The message changes us.
  • You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
  • The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4given.

One thought on “Christian one-liners
  1. Joshua says:

    Today at work, my boss asked me if I was ambidextrous. I said: “No sir, I’m Pentecostal!”

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