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Funny movie quotes from Maisie Gets Her Man

Funny movie quotes from Maisie Gets Her Man, starring Red Skelton and Ann Sothern. A romantic comedy, set during World War II Maisie Ravier  (Ann Sothern): No, he ain’t no college professor, he’s a knife thrower! Hap Hixby (Red Skelton): Don’t leave now, you’re missing the best part!Maisie  Ravier (Ann Sothern): Am I?...
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Funny movie quotes from I Dood It

Funny movie quotes from I Dood It, a musical comedy starring Red Skelton and Eleanor Powell Kenneth Cawlor (Thurston Hall): No crashing the gates of Paradise, young man. In the vernacular, where €™s your ticket?Joe Renolds (Red Skelton): Sorry, here you go.Kenneth Cawlor (Thurston Hall): Wait a moment,...
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Funny movie quotes from The Yellow Cab Man

Funny movie quotes from The Yellow Cab Man (1950) starring Red Skelton, Gloria DeHaven, Walter Slezak Funny movie quotes from The Yellow Cab Man, a very funny Red Skelton comedy, where he plays an accident-prone man who gets mixed up in a murder!
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Funny movie quotes from Having Wonderful Time

Funny movie quotes from Having Wonderful Time, starring Ginger Rogers, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., Lucille Ball, Red Skelton At the office Frances (Dorothy Tree): Aren’t you lucky. The nearest I’ll get to a vacation this year is a far away look in my eye.
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Funny quotes from A Taste of Money

In The Red Skelton Show episode, A Taste of Money, Red Skelton‘s con man character San Fernando Red tries to scam a rich widow … by pretending to be her long-lost son. [Ruby’s husband needs an operation.]Ruby (Allison McKay): Twenty years ago, my husband swallowed a fifty cent...
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Jokes from Here Comes the Bribe

Jokes from The Red Skelton Show episode, Here Comes the Bribe Red Skelton‘s cowboy character, Sheriff Deadeye, is running for re-election in Here Comes the Bribe … Corruption? What corruption? Pretty girl: How are you going to get re-elected this year, Deadeye?Deadeye: By kissing babies and giving them...
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Funny movie quotes from Merton of the Movies

Funny movie quotes from Merton of the Movies starring Red Skelton, Virginia O’Brien Merton Gill aka Clifford Armytage (Red Skelton): (reading a letter from the Pudolph School of Acting) “It is apparent that you definitely have a face.” Phyllis Montague (Virginia O’Brien): Are you new here? Merton Gill...
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Red Skelton’s eye exam

Red Skelton’s eye exam – From Red’s opening monologue on “The Red Skelton Show” (January 25, 1971) – Red talks about a visit to his eye doctor. This doctor starts examining my eyes, now you’ve got to hear some of the conversation that went on. I said, “The...
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Gertrude and Heathcliff jokes

Gertrude and Heathcliff  jokes by Red Skelton, about his seagull friends – flapping their wings, the ship of fools, and an elephant with a cold in the nose As  Red Skelton  used to say, there were these two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff:
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