Medium jokes

Medium jokes – Several puns on the word ‘medium’ – my favorite is about the midget psychic on the run from the law …

I ordered a medium well-done steak at a restaurant, but it came back barely cooked.

When I complained to the waiter, he told me, “A well-done medium is rare.”

Did you hear about the midget psychic on the run from the law?

It was a small medium at large.

After seeing a smiling “medium” at a psychic fair, a friend of mine punched her!

When I asked him why he would do such a thing, he replied, “My father always taught me to strike a happy medium.”

My prophecy lessons were cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. — Ruth Buzzi

My favorite place to eat used to be the Psychic Friends restaurant.  They knew you were coming and what you’d order, so the food was ready when you got there.  They over-insured the place, knowing it was going to be destroyed by a hurricane.

“Sir, six weeks ago I paid $500 for your course on telepathy, but nothing’s happened since then.”

“I know. You’re failing.”

People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow!

Updated 10/5/2020