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Funny movie quotes from The Pirate

Funny movie quotes from The Pirate, starring Judy Garland, Gene Kelly, Walter Slezak.

Manuela (Judy Garland): I wish I had now. Now, will you get out of here?

Serafin (Gene Kelly): You won’t come with me?

Manuela (Judy Garland) No.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Very well then.

[He goes through the window, turns to Manuela]

Serafin (Gene Kelly): You know, it isn’t essential for you to love me to be in the troupe. It helps, but it isn’t essential.

Manuela (Judy Garland): Get out!

Serafin (Gene Kelly): [leaves to go out window] Good-bye.

Manuela (Judy Garland): No, not that way! You’ll kill yourself.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): You do care. You do care!

Manuela (Judy Garland): No, I don’t! No, I don’t!

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Manuela, you love me! You love me!

Gene Kelly and Judy Garland in The Pirate

Serafin (Gene Kelly): I can tell you your past, your present, and your future.

Manuela (Judy Garland): You don’t have to tell me my future; I know my future.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Am I in it?

Manuela (Judy Garland): No!

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Then you don’t know your future.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Manuela, you can’t marry that man. You’re not in love with him, you’re in love with me.

Manuela (Judy Garland): The EGO! The CONCEIT!

Manuela (Judy Garland): I wish you’d stop circling me. It’s like talking to a top!

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Senorita, don’t marry that pumpkin.

Manuela (Judy Garland): Pumpkin!

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Any man who lets you out of his sight is a pumpkin.

Manuela (Judy Garland): If I didn’t laugh I should be very annoyed.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): I know that underneath that prim exterior there are depths of emotion, romantic longings, unfulfilled dreams.


Manuela (Judy Garland): [while hypnotized] Underneath this prim exterior, there are depths of emotion, romantic longings… Underneath this prim exterior, there are depths of emotion, romantic longings…

Manuela (Judy Garland): [to Serafin, the actor, who pretends to be the pirate Macoco] How could I have been so gullible? Why, I should have known from the first moment I saw you on the stage that you know nothing about acting!

Serafin (Gene Kelly): [after Manuela smashes a painting over his head] You’re overdoing this! You’re being vindictive!

The Viceroy: I must say, Macoco, you’re very satisfying! The other members of your profession whom I’ve met officially looked more like bookkeepers than pirates, but you – ooo hooo hooo – you fill the eye.

Serafin: [standing by the noose] Usually for our opening I perform a rope trick, but tonight under the circumstances, I will skip the rope.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): It’s hard to kill an actor.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): I believe a condemned man has a right to one last request.

The Viceroy: Oh, within reason – a visit from a loved one, a prayer, a beef steak.

Don Pedro Vargas (Walter Slezak): Macoco!

[comes up to the Serafin’s stage, angrily]

Don Pedro Vargas (Walter Slezak): I’ve had enough of this! This marionette strutting around for pretending to be the black Macoco, you think a runt like that could handle a crew of cutthroats? You think real men would risk their necks to serve under him? If you want to worship Macoco, then worship me! It was I, who was the terror of the caribbean, the most feared and hated men who ever sailed a ship! At the mere mention of my name, armed fleets who slinked into harbors, whole populations would flee into hills when I at my ship came in sight of land. My name would like thunder rolling in from the sea! I am this man of worship!

[grabs Manuela’s hand, Serafin stops him and reach his two guns out]

Don Pedro Vargas (Walter Slezak): I am Macoco… Not this grease paint hero, this puny rabbit-hearted, white-livered buffoon. I’m MACOCO!

[Serafin’s guys tosses him with the bat and Serafin hits him and shoots]

Serafin (Gene Kelly): [after tricking his troupe and stealing their last cigar] I was, er… keeping it lit for you.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Come, pure spirit. Come with me.

Don Pedro Vargas (Walter Slezak): I forbid it, it’s a disgrace!

The Viceroy: [to Don Pedro] Sit down, Don Pedro.

[turns back to Serafin]

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Gracious lady, if you have any wish. Express it freely to me. I, who am your friend.

Manuela (Judy Garland): I wish that…

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Yes?

Manuela (Judy Garland: I wish…

Don Pedro Vargas (Walter Slezak): Black magic! I won’t have him practice black magic on my future wife! It’s an outrage!

The Viceroy: [to Don Pedro] Hold your tongue, Don Pedro. I will not have this performance ruined by your bourgeois possessiveness.

Serafin (Gene Kelly): Excellency, would you please tell him this is not flirtation. It is science.

The Viceroy: It is science.

Don Pedro Vargas (Walter Slezak): Whatever you called, I don’t like it!

The Viceroy: [turns to Don Pedro] I demand that you hold your tongue!

[turns back to Serafin]

The Viceroy: Proceed, sir, with this mesmerism.

Trillo: Say, who’s that man with the whip?

The Advocate: Manuela’s fiance. He is also mayor of the town.

Trillo: Yes.

[to Serafin’s troupes]

Trillo: All right, boys. Start packing.

Macoco (Walter Slezak): I’m very philanthropic now – I repaired the church belfry.

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