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Funny Christmas quotes

Funny Christmas quotes

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
– Shirley Temple

Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’€™s saying “€˜Buy Buy”€™
– Robert Paul

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’€™t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
– Phyllis Diller

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
– Johnny Carson

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
– Johnny Carson

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
– Larry Wilde

Don’€™t expect too much of Christmas Day. You can’€™t crowd into it any arrears of unselfishness and kindliness that may have accrued during the past twelve months.
– Oren Arnold

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’€™re home.
– Carol Nelson

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.
– Roy L. Smith

People can’€™t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
– Ogden Nash

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.
– Richard Lamm

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
– Katharine Whitehorn

You know you’€™re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
– Robert Paul

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
– Bernard Manning


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