Funny movie quotes from Wonder Man, starring Danny Kaye, Virginia Mayo, Vera-Ellen
Funny movie quotes from Wonder Man, a “ghostly” comedy where Danny Kaye’s twin brother uses him to get revenge on his own murderers
Buster “Buzzy” Bellew (Danny Kaye: Take it easy, lad. A fellow has to pay his cab fare. What do I owe you, Max?
Max – Taxi Driver: 60 cents, Buzzy.
Buster “Buzzy” Bellew (Danny Kaye: I’ll toss you for it, double or nothing. Give me a coin. Come on, Max. Come on. That a boy. What do you cry?
Max – Taxi Driver: Tails!
Buster “Buzzy” Bellew (Danny Kaye: To bad, Max, you lose. Ha-ha-ha!
[Starts to walk away]
Max – Taxi Driver: Hey Buzzy, my quarter! My quarter!
Buster “Buzzy” Bellew (Danny Kaye: This guy’s money mad. Here you go, Max.
[Buzzy tosses money to Max]
Max – Taxi Driver: [Surprised] Five bucks! What a sweetheart.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Potato salad!
Schmidt (S.Z. “Cheeks” Sakall): He’s talking to a salami. He thinks it’s a fan dancer.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): I don’t want to go to Brooklyn. You can’t make me. I don’t want to go to Brooklyn.
Bus Driver: None of us want to, bud, but we all gotta go sooner or later.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Do you remember you once told me you wouldn’t be found dead in Brooklyn?
Buzzy’s Ghost (Danny Kaye): Yeah, I remember. That was the only way they could get me here.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Did you say you sing and dance in a nightclub?
Sailor’s Girl Friend: No, I work in a bakery. But, a lot of people take me for Lana Turner.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): I’d like a pint of Prospect Park!
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): You know, Mr. Dingle, you have the most extraordinary mind I’ve ever heard of.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Oh, I wouldn’t say that.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): You’re very modest, aren’t you?
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Yes, I guess, I am.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): That’s odd. If I had a mind like yours; in fact, if I had any mind at all; I’d be a brazen hussy! Ha-ha-ha.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Oh! Ha-ha-ha
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): There! I bet that’s the first time you’ve laughed since you’ve read Professor Zimmel’s inaccuracies of the Phoenician wars. Ha-ha-ha
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Ha-ha-ha. Yes, I guess it is, at that. You know, I really enjoy being here.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): I’m glad. I like having you.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): Do you think you’ll be coming back tomorrow?
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): I enjoy it here very much … uh, I love the smell of leather bindings.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): [Talking on the phone] But, I just have to talk to the District Attorney about a young man he arrested. He’s not really out of his mind. I upset him because he’s not used to girls.
Policeman in Park: [Kicked in the posterior by Edwin Dingle while drinking at a water fountain in Prospect Park] Why, you!
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Good evening.
Policeman in Park: What do you think you’re doing?
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Oh, forgive me, it was, it was a scientific experiment.
Policeman in Park: I’ll show you an experiment, Einstein!
Buzzy’s Ghost (Danny Kaye): As the little Eskimo girl says, it takes me a little while to get me to warm up.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): Edwin, do you always wear your hair parted in the middle?
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Yes, why?
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): Why, I never saw anybody look good with their hair that way, except Hedy Lamarr.
Chimp: Mr. Bellew, Can I have your autograph, please, for the guys in my sorority?
Buzzy’s Ghost (Danny Kaye): Why, certainly, I’m an old Vassar man, myself.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): I want to explain about last night.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): Well, it better be good. Making me wait hours for potato salad and telephoning me and barking like a dog, meowing like a cat and hooting like an owl.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Ellen.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): You’ve got a nerve, hanging around here. You just got me fired!
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): I’m sorry, but, I must resort to force.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): Oh, now you’re a cave man!
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Well, the Neanderthal Man had his merits.
Ellen Shanley (Virginia Mayo): You’re nutty as a fruitcake!
District Attorney: Calm down, Mr. Bellew. You’re as safe as a church.
District Attorney: Your story is satisfactory except for a few minor details.
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Well, it was quite dark and I may have slipped up on one or two points.
District Attorney: Yes, in the first place, the tall, thin man with the red beard was a short, fat, fan dancer named Chu-Chu LaVerne!
District Attorney: Holy jumping Republicans, throw this maniac outta here!
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): In fact, I don’t think I’m ever going to see Buster again.
[he hears the spooky Buster music and gasps]
Edwin Dingle (Danny Kaye): Buster!
Buzzy’s Ghost (Danny Kaye): [popping out of a box] I’m a little devil, ain’t I?