Funny movie quotes for Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955) starring Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Richard Deacon, Marie Windsor
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): How stupid can you get?
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): How stupid do you want me to be?
Madame Rontru (Marie Windsor): [looking at a fluoroscope of Freddie’s insides] A marble, two buttons, a safety pin …
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): I lost a tie clasp two years ago, see if that’s in there.
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): Ask Klaris, he’s the one that got us into this.
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): And he’s going to get us out of it.
The Flower Girl: Flowers?
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): [points to one bunch of flowers] How much are these?
The Flower Girl: A dollar.
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): [points to another bunch] How much are these?
The Flower Girl: A dollar.
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): I got no money.
[throws a bouquet back on the tray]
The Flower Girl: No money?
[picks up the bunch he threw back]
The Flower Girl: They’re a little wilted, you can have them for nothing.
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): [finding Professor Zoomer’s body dressed in his long underwear] Is this the body you found earlier?
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): Yeah, but before he had clothes on.
Waiter with Flaming Kabob: A waiter will be with you in a moment.
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): Hey! The meat’s on fire!
[throws a glass of water at the kabob but hits Abbott instead]
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): Where will we find the Mummy?
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): Don’t worry. the Mummy will find you!
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): I overheard Doctor Zoomer say he needed a couple of men to accompany his mummy back to the States.
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): Is she afraid to travel by herself?
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): She? No, Lou. This mummy is a he. What’s wrong with that? Some mummies are men, some mummies are women.
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): Such a strange country.
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): What’s strange about it Lou?
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): Your mummy, your mummy. Wasn’t she a woman?
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): I never had a mummy.
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): What did your Father do? Win you in a crap game?
Peter Patterson (Bud Abbott): What’s the matter?
Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello): I thought you were gonna slap me!
Madame Rontru (Marie Windsor): There is no curse that a gun or a knife can’t cure.