Home » Funny movie quotes » Funny movie quotes from My Friend Irma

Funny movie quotes from My Friend Irma

Funny movie quotes from My Friend Irma starring Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Marie Wilson, Diana Lynn


Professor Kropotkin (Hans Conried): My little pigeon!

Seymour (Jerry Lewis): Who’s a pigeon?

Professor Kropotkin (Hans Conried): It’s only me, Professor Kropotkin.

Jane Stacy (Diana Lynn): Well, hello, Professor.

Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): Hi, Professor.

Professor Kropotkin (Hans Conried): Oh, Jane and Irma, my two little proud beauties! One with her head in the air and the other with air in her head.


Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): How often does a girl meet a millionaire with money?


Mr. Clyde: Oh, I should have fired you months ago. But I can’t! It would take me years to find out where you keep things!


Steve Laird (Dean Martin): Now, there’s the mirror. Take a look at yourself. Now, if you notice, you have deep expression in your eyes and a very sensitive chin – all the qualities of a legitimate actor – maybe even a great lover.

Seymour (Jerry Lewis): Yeah, but isn’t my voice too high?

Steve Laird (Dean Martin): Not necessarily. Maybe you can make love to tall girls.


Jane Stacy (Diana Lynn): Anything can happen when you live with my friend Irma!


Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): Oh, Al I always knew you’d succeed. I just can’t wait to hear all the wonderful things people say about you after you’re dead.


Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): [to Al] Oh, well, you know Jane. She wants to marry a man with money, but I don’t think money’s important. Look, I have you, and you have me, and we both have nothing.


Al (John Lund): Okay, Chicken. Get on the phone.

Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): But I don’t know what to say.
Al (John Lund): Just say you’re calling for Miss Jane Stacy. She’s been delayed, she’s only half-dressed, and it would take a load off her mind if you would pick her up at her house instead of at the bar. Got it?

Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): Got it, word-for-word.
[into telephone]
Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): Hello?

Al (John Lund): [covering the receiver] Just to play it safe, let me have it back.
Irma Peterson: Uh… “She would like you to pick her up here because she’s half-dressed, half-loaded, and would make a very easy pick-up.”


Seymour (Jerry Lewis): The least you could do is show me some sympathy, Steve. When you was sick, I was very considerate. Remember when the doctor gave you only 30 days to live?

Steve Laird (Dean Martin): Yes!

Seymour (Jerry Lewis): Didn’t I go out and get you a calendar?


Jane Stacy (Diana Lynn): [Hearing the telephone ringing after finding her ruined clothes] I’ll answer it, Mrs. O’Reilly. My feet are wet and I want to be sure I’ll be electrocuted.


Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): [On phone] Oh Jane, darling. I called you because I wanted to tell you to be sure not to take a shower.

Jane Stacy (Diana Lynn): And why shouldn’t I take a shower and be clean like all other normal people?

Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): Well, you see, I painted the clothes closet, and I hung all the clothes in the shower.

Jane Stacy (Diana Lynn): Irma, when you come home tonight would you bring a piece of good, strong rope with you? Because there’s something else I want to hang in the shower with the clothes.

Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): Really, Jane? What?

Jane Stacy (Diana Lynn): You. Irma Peterson, how could you be so stupid?


Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): We have milk.
Al (John Lund): Milk? Chicken, this guy’s a multi-millionaire. A blue blood. He’s used to the best. I’ll go out and get a couple bottles of beer.

Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): Al, you’re all out of breath. You shouldn’t let yourself get that way because breath is good for you.


[the radio contest calls Irma’s home after her friends find her suicide note]

Al (John Lund): How do you like that? They’re calling Chicken from the contest and she has to pick a moment like this to knock herself off. That dame never had no consideration!


Jane Stacy (Diana Lynn): [to Irma] Oh, sweetie don’t cry. You can’t help it. It’s just that nature gave some girls talent and brains, and with you it slipped you a mickey.


Steve Laird (Dean Martin): [reading fortune from a fortune cookie] It says, “You are placing your confidence in someone who’ll enrich you.” Must mean Al.

Jane Stacy (Diana Lynn): Yes, Al’s a pretty good confidence man.


Seymour (Jerry Lewis): And that’s how Steve and I became pals. But he’s too easygoing. He’s not like me. Somebody does something I consider an offense, I don’t take it. I fight back. I revolt.

Irma Peterson (Marie Wilson): Oh, Seymour that’s a sign of character and I admire you for it. I like men who are offensive and revolting.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*
*

%d bloggers like this: