One line Animal Christmas Jokes – A collection of one-liner Christmas jokes that feature animals, such as “Can I have a dog for Christmas? No, you can have turkey like everyone else!”
- What do elephants sing at Christmas?
- What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?
- What is white, lives at the north pole and runs around naked?
A polar bare!
- What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?
- Why don’t penguins fly?
Because they’re too short to be pilots!
- “Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?”
“No, I wouldn’t know how to feed them.”
- What is green, covered with tinsel and goes “ribbet ribbet”?
- What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!
- What is the best key to get at Christmas?
- How do Chihuahuas say Merry Christmas?
- How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe!
- What do you call a cat on a beach at Christmas?
- What kind of bird can write?
- Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk!
- Where do polar bears go to vote?
At the North Poll
- What do sheep say to Santa?
- What do you call a penguin wearing ear muffs?
Anything, he can’t hear you!
- Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?
- What did Santa get when he crossed a woodpecker with kleenex?
- What’s the most boring animal?
A polar bore!
- What sort of insects love snow?
- Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else !
- Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey – he’s always stuffed !
- What bird has wings but cannot fly?
- Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
- What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus !
- Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.
“That must have cost a fortune!” I said.
“Actually I got it for a poultry amount,” she said.
- A man went to a butcher’s and saw that the turkeys were 90 cents a pound. He said to the butcher, “Do you raise them yourself?”
“Of course I do,” the butcher replied. “They were only 50 cents a pound this morning!”
- How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?
Look at the labels!
- Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!
- What’s brown and creeps around the house?
- How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even!
- What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
“Tis the season to be jelly!”
- What do you drain Christmas dinner brussel sprouts with?
An advent colander!
- What’s the most common wine at Christmas?
Do I have to have the brussel sprouts?