Funny TV quotes from Destiny of the Daleks – a very serious Doctor Who TV serial, with a lot of funny quotes! With Tom Baker as the Third Doctor
Episode 1
[Romana – a Time Lady is regenerating. For those who don’t know, Time Lords & Time Ladies can regenerate, becoming young & healthy. As well allowing a new actor/actress to take on the role.]
[Romana walks in, having regenerated as Princess Astra]
The Doctor: Sorry, I thought you were Romana. Have you seen her? [softly] What are you doing here?
Romana: Regenerating. Do you like it?
The Doctor: Regenerating? What are you talking about, regenerating? Only Time Lords regenerate. Look it’s awfully nice to see you, Princess Astra…
Romana: Romana.
The Doctor: “Romana?” Ah…
[K9 starts to interrupt him]
The Doctor: Shut up, K9. What are you doing in that body?
Romana: Regenerating. Do you like it?
The Doctor: But you can’t wear that body!
Romana: I thought it looked very nice on the Princess.
The Doctor: Listen. You listen to me in there. What you want is something warm and sensible. Something that will wear well. Something with a bit of style and, well, style. You know?
[the newly regenerated Romana returns, wearing the Third Doctor’s spare coat, scarf and floppy hat, several sizes too big for her]
Romana: How about this, Doctor?
The Doctor: Exactly! Good, heavens, that’s exactly right. Ha! I never realised you had such a sense of style.
Romana: I thought you said external appearances weren’t important.
The Doctor: Ah, but it’s nice to get them right, isn’t it?
[Fallen debris pins down the Doctor. Romana goes for help]
Romana: Don’t go away, will you?
The Doctor: I rather hoped you’d resist the temptation to say that.
Episode 2
[from top of air shaft to Daleks in pursuit]
Doctor Who: If you’re supposed to be the superior race of the universe, why don’t you try climbing after us? Bye-bye!
Romana: They taught me at school how to stop my hearts.
Tyssan: Hearts? How many have you got?
Romana: One for casual, one for best.
Episode 3
Davros: Doctor!
Doctor Who: Davros! You don’t look a day older, and I’d hoped you were dead.
Davros: Until the Daleks’ universal supremacy is accomplished, I can not allow myself the luxury of death.
Doctor Who: Ohhh, poor Davros.
Davros: However, it is a luxury I shall delight in bestowing upon YOU.
Doctor Who: You’re very generous.
Episode 4
Commander Sharrel: We function logically.
Doctor Who: My condolences to you.
Doctor Who: One, two, three, four, five – I’ll go alone. Ask me why.
Tyssan: Why?
Doctor Who: They’re unconscious; also, I’m a very dangerous fellow when I don’t know what I’m doing.
Davros: When the Dalek ship arrives you will accompany us.
Doctor Who: Oh, I’m sure they’ll welcome me with open arm… I mean, they would welcome me with open arms if they had arms. Please, please! No offense meant at all.
Doctor Who: All elephants are pink, Nellie is an elephant, therefore Nellie is pink. Logical?
Davros: Perfectly.
Doctor Who: You know what a human would say to that?
Davros: What?
Tyssan: Elephants aren’t pink.
Davros: Humans do not understand logic.