In Funny movie quotes from Abbott and Costello Go to Mars, not only do they not go to Mars, but Venus – all the women are Miss Universe contestants!
Funny movie quotes from Abbott and Costello Go to Mars
Orville (Lou Costello): Anything else I can do to help, doctor?
Doctor: I’m afraid not, Orville. Most of this work requires a high IQ.
Orville (Lou Costello): What?
Doctor: High IQ.
Orville (Lou Costello): High IQ too, doctor.
Orville (Lou Costello): Get me down from here – I want to collect my social security.
Lester (Bud Abbott): You can’t collect Social Security until you’re 65.
Orville (Lou Costello): I just aged 50 years!
Lester (Bud Abbott): I hereby claim Mars in the name of the United States of America.
Orville (Lou Costello): Me too.
Lester (Bud Abbott): Go see what made that noise.
Orville (Lou Costello): Uh-uh. You go.
Lester (Bud Abbott): Didn’t you make me promise not to leave you alone?
Orville (Lou Costello): Yes.
Lester (Bud Abbott): If I go look, you’ll be all alone here by yourself.
Orville (Lou Costello): Okay; I didn’t think of that. [Goes off to investigate]
Crooks
Mugsy: I would like to ask you one simple question: How many states are you wanted in?
Harry: How many are dere?
Mugsy: Forty-eight.
Harry: Dat’s how many.
Mugsy: That’s a paralysis ray. Flash Gordon uses one of them.
Harry: What mob does he run with?
On Venus
Venusian #1: What is it?
Allura: I could be wrong, but I think it’s a man.
Venusian #2: That’s a man?
Orville (Lou Costello): May I stand up?
Queen Allura: Go ahead. [Lou Costello stands up] He looks worse standing up than sitting down.
Queen Allura: What can a king do that a queen can’t do?
Orville (Lou Costello): Be the father of a large family.
