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Funny movie quotes from Abbott and Costello Go to Mars

In Funny movie quotes from Abbott and Costello Go to Mars, not only do they not go to Mars, but Venus – all the women are Miss Universe contestants!

Funny movie quotes from Abbott and Costello Go to Mars

Orville (Lou Costello): Anything else I can do to help, doctor?
Doctor: I’m afraid not, Orville.   Most of this work requires a high IQ.
Orville (Lou Costello):  What?
Doctor: High IQ.
Orville (Lou Costello): High IQ too, doctor.


Orville (Lou Costello):  Get me down from here – I want to collect my social security.
Lester (Bud Abbott): You can’t collect Social Security until you’re 65.
Orville (Lou Costello):  I just aged 50 years!


Lester (Bud Abbott): I hereby claim Mars in the name of the United States of America.
Orville (Lou Costello): Me too.


Lester (Bud Abbott):  Go see what made that noise.
Orville (Lou Costello):  Uh-uh. You go.
Lester (Bud Abbott):  Didn’t you make me promise not to leave you alone?
Orville (Lou Costello):  Yes.
Lester (Bud Abbott):  If I go look, you’ll be all alone here by yourself.
Orville (Lou Costello):  Okay; I didn’t think of that. [Goes off to investigate]


Crooks

Mugsy: I would like to ask you one simple question: How many states are you wanted in?
Harry: How many are dere?
Mugsy: Forty-eight.
Harry: Dat’s how many.


Mugsy: That’s a paralysis ray.  Flash Gordon uses one of them.
Harry: What mob does he run with?


On Venus

Venusian #1: What is it?
Allura: I could be wrong, but I think it’s a man.
Venusian #2: That’s a man?


Orville (Lou Costello): May I stand up?
Queen Allura: Go ahead. [Lou Costello stands up] He looks worse standing up than sitting down.


Queen Allura: What can a king do that a queen can’t do?
Orville (Lou Costello): Be the father of a large family.

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