Funny movie quotes from March of the Wooden Soldiers, starring Laurel and Hardy (also known as Babes in Toyland)
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel): It wasn’t so far. We just came across the street.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : I’ve got a Christmas present for you.
Barnaby : A Christmas gift in the middle of July?
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Well we always do our Christmas shopping early.
The Toy Maker : What do you think of the wooden soldiers?
Santa Claus : They’re nice but they’re not what I ordered. I ordered 600 soldiers one foot high.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Oh I thought you said 100 soldiers six feet high.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Upset? I’m housebroken!
[Stannie nibbles on pig sausage evidence ] Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) [Taking bite ]: It doesn’t taste like pig sausage to me, it tastes like pork.
Old King Cole : I’m offering a 50,000 guineas reward for Barnaby’s apprehension, dead or alive.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Can’t you make up your mind how you want him?
[Barnaby disappears down well. Stannie and Ollie corner him.] Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : You better come up dead or alive!
Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) : How can he come up dead when he’s alive?
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Let’s drop a rock on him. That’ll make him dead when he’s alive.
Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) : Now you’re talkin’.
Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) : Goodbye Stannie.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Well aren’t I going with you?
Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) : Why no. You’ve got to stay here with Barnaby. You’re married to him.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : I don’t want to stay here with him.
Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) : Why not?
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : I don’t love him.
Barnaby : Big bait catches big rat!
Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) : Stannie’s so upset he isn’t even going to the wedding. You’re upset aren’t you Stannie?
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Upset? I’m housebroken!
[Stannie nibbles on pig sausage evidence ] Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) [Taking bite ]: It doesn’t taste like pig sausage to me, it tastes like pork.
Old King Cole : I’m offering a 50,000 guineas reward for Barnaby’s apprehension, dead or alive.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Can’t you make up your mind how you want him
Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) : Why should you worry? You and he are just like THAT.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : But that was before we were married.
Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) : Her talking to Barnaby is a matter of pouring one ear into the other. Can’t be done.