Funny movie quotes from Phony Express, starring the Three Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard), Bud Jamison
In Phony Express, the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, and Curly) are vagrants in the Old West, mistaken for lawmen, who have to guard the bank .. and once they fail at that, they have to capture the bandits and recover the gold … or else!
[referring to ‘Dr. Abdul’s Cactus Remedy’]
Curly (Curly Howard): Hey Moe, buy me a bottle. I can’t sleep!
Moe (Moe Howard): What’ya mean, ya sleep 12 hours every night!
Curly (Curly Howard): Yeah, but I’m wide awake all day!
Moe (Moe Howard): Ya lunkheads, ya broke all the bottles! Get in there and make some more while I do some spieling.
Curly (Curly Howard): [pointing to the broken bottles] I think ya spieled enough already.
Moe (Moe Howard): I’ll spiel you! Get going!
Larry (Larry Fine): Do you know anything about mixing medicine, Doctor?
Curly (Curly Howard): Why, certainly, Professor. All ya gotta do is mix a little of this and a little of that.
Larry (Larry Fine): [holds up large bottle] Say, we’ve got plenty of this.
Curly (Curly Howard): Then I’ll try that. [pours it in]
Moe (Moe Howard): [handing a bottle of Larry and Curly’s concoction] There you go, Sheriff, that’ll pick you right up.
Curly (Curly Howard): And lay you right down, too!
Moe (Moe Howard): Why don’t you change that face of yours? You scare people!
Moe (Moe Howard): [reading sign] Hey, ‘Porters Wanted’ – it looks like you guys are going to work.
Saloon girl: What do you say, Hiccup, shall we trip the light fantastic?
Curly (Curly Howard): I’d rather dance!
Bartender: [showing ‘wanted for vagrancy’ poster] Red, look at this! I thought those guys were phony!
Red Morgan (Bud Jamison): I’ll stop his Hiccup!
Curly (Curly Howard): [showing off his shooting skills] I’ll take the next one the hard way! [aims the gun, pulls the trigger, but nothing fires – Larry breaks the bottle from behind the bar anyway]
Moe (Moe Howard): He scared it to death!
Curly (Curly Howard): [looking at a gaping hole in the bank wall] Hey look, termites! And big ones, too!
Larry (Larry Fine): [to Curly] Mush! Mush!
Moe (Moe Howard): That’s right, right in the mush! [slaps Larry]
Moe (Moe Howard): [as Curly is trailing a skunk] He’s got the scent!
Moe (Moe Howard): [pulling stolen money from hiding place in floor] There’s gold in them thar hills!
Curly (Curly Howard): There’s gold in them thar floors, too!
Moe (Moe Howard): [after rescuing Curly from a bear trap] I got it, the traps!
Curly (Curly Howard): You mean I got it the traps!
Moe (Moe Howard): Get the rest of ’em!
Curly (Curly Howard): Shut yer trap!