Funny movie quotes from A Missed Fortune – a re-working of a Curly short Healthy, Wealthy & Dumb. The Three Stooges live the high life on Shemp’s contest winnings. But, after taxes …
Moe: [Larry uses boiling water to unglue his mouth] What are you trying to do, boil me? Do you think I’m a lobster?
Larry: [getting eye-poked] Oh, wait a minute.
Moe: I’ll gouge your eyes…
Larry: [blocking a second eye-poke, then laughing] I fooled him.
Moe: Well, you certainly did. Pardon me.
Larry: Yes?
Moe: [eye-poking him again] Get away from here!
At the Hotel Costa Plente
Larry: [ordering room service] Send up a dozen bottles of champagne. A dozen. Dozen! Spell it? Make it twelve instead.
Moe: Boy, what a beautiful bed. And just what we need, a triple-decker.
Shemp: I want the upper berth. You get less air up there. Uh, can I get up there? Where’s a ladder?[seeing Moe bent over, he uses him as a springboard]
Moe: [holding the small of his back in pain] Ooh!
Shemp: How I love this pretty bed. Now I’ll rest my weary head. Good night.
[falling backward, the canopy and the bed collapse] What happened?
Moe: [trapped under a beam] Get this Henry VIII off my neck!
A horse trough? or a bathtub?
Shemp: Look! A rowboat.
Larry: A rowboat? You’re crazy. That’s a horse trough.
Moe: Horse trough? Rowboat? In a hotel? You imbeciles. That’s a bathtub. Go on, take a bath.
Larry: Wait a minute. It ain’t spring yet.
Moe: Oh, yes it is. See the grass?
Larry: Where? [looking into the bathroom] You’re crazy. That’s a bathmat.
[Moe kicks him in the butt; stumbling forward, he hits the opposite wall]
Larry: [with his top hat covering his eyes] Oh! Help! Turn on the lights! I can’t see anything. It’s dark in here! Fellas, help me! I’m going blind!
Shemp: [pulling the hat off] I’ll help you.
Larry: I can’t see. I can’t see!
Moe, Shemp: What’s the matter?
Larry: I have my eyes closed.
Moe: [eye-poking him] Go on, take a bath.
Shemp: [at a swanky hotel] Look at this room, fancy and clean. I feel like a king. If I just had a queen.
Moe: [with an over-the-shoulder conk on the head] Quiet.
Hotel Manager (Vernon Dent): Gentlemen, if I can be of further service, please call me personally.
Moe, Larry, Shemp: Thank you.
Larry: Mr. Personally.
Moe, Larry, Shemp: [bowing, they conk their heads together] Ooh!
Moe: You cement head.
Shemp: Why, that’s an insult with me. In my country, that’s an insult. [taking a glove from his jacket pocket, he slaps Moe in the face]
Moe: On guard.
Shemp: I got it. [they begin “sword fighting” with their cigars]