One of Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy’s funniest films was “A Chump at Oxford” where Stan is hit on the head, recovers his memory and returns to Oxford as a genius professor – and here are the funny movie quotes to prove it!
Funny movie quotes from A Chump at Oxford starring Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy
Stan (Stan Laurel): This joint is really screwy! There’s a gent over there who just said he wants his salad served undressed!
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Well, you heard what he said – serve the salad undressed!
Stan (Stan Laurel): Hey, Ollie look…
[spans the distance from England to America on a globe with his thumb and forefinger – about two inches]
Stan (Stan Laurel): We’re only this far from home.
Student: Pardon me sir, but haven’t you come to the wrong college?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): This is Oxford isn’t it?
Student: Yes but, you’re dressed for Eton
Stan (Stan Laurel): Just as well, we haven’t eaten since breakfast
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [in the maze] Where are you?
Stan (Stan Laurel): I’m over here… where are you?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): I’m here.
Stan (Stan Laurel): How can you be here if I’m here?
Stan (Stan Laurel): He must have one of those dizzy spells.
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Yeah, he’s a dizzy dean!
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [refering to the Dean] Have you ever seen a face like that anywhere but in a zoo?
Stan (Stan Laurel): Sure… in a monkey house.
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): A monkey house!
[laughs]
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): I never thought of that!
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [to Meredith about Stan] Brilliant mind?
[laughs]
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Why, I’ve known him for years, and he’s the dumbest guy I ever saw. Aren’t you, Stanley?
Stan (Stan Laurel): I certainly am!
Meredith: [speaking of Lord Paddington] And when he got angry, he would wiggle his ears in the most extraordinary fashion, and he would fight like a demon.
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Fight like a demon…
[to Stan]
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Wiggle your ears.
Stan (Stan Laurel): Huh?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [sternly] Wiggle your ears!
Stan (Stan Laurel): [Stan tries to wiggle his ears] I can’t wiggle my ears.
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Of course not; it’s another rib.
Student (Peter Cushing): [with entire student body, marching] Fe, fi,fo,fum. We want the blood of an American. Be he alive, or be he dead, we’ll break his bones to make our bread. We’ll beat those Yankees like a drum. We’ll send them back where they came from
[pointing at their window]
Student: Fe, fi, fo, fum.
Student: We’re going to run you out of Oxford; and if you don’t go, we’ll take off your britches and throw you out!
Stan (Stan Laurel): [as Lord Paddington] What? Take off my britches? In the presence of Meredith?
Stan (Stan Laurel): [as Lord Paddington, looking at Oliver Hardy] Meredith, who is this coarse person?
Stan (Stan Laurel): [to Oliver] Fatty, lift up your chin. No no no, both of them!
Student: Dirty snitchers.
Stan (Stan Laurel): [as Lord Paddington] Repeat that remark again.
Student: [with entire student group] Dirty snitchers!
Stan (Stan Laurel): [as Lord Paddington,sternly] Have a care…
Dean Williams: Professor Einstein of Princeton is having trouble with his theory; could you possibly give him just a little time…
Stan (Stan Laurel): [as Lord Paddington] Of course… Fatty, hand me my memorandum
[Ollie gives it to him… he leafs through it]
Stan (Stan Laurel): Let’s see… Monday, Tuesday… suppose we make it Ash Wednesday… invite him for lunch, I’m having pancakes.
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Einstein?… if it wasn’t for that bump on the head he wouldn’t know Einstein from a beer stein…
[last lines]
Stan (Stan Laurel): Ollie, where ya goin’?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Back to America for me!
Stan (Stan Laurel): Ollie?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): What?
Stan (Stan Laurel): [starts to cry] You’re going without me…
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Stan! You know me!
Stan (Stan Laurel): Well, of course I know you… What do you have, one of those dizzy spells?