You might be a Scrooge if … Do you have the Christmas spirit, or do you make Ebenezer Scrooge look like a spendthrift?
You might be a Scrooge if …
- Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.
- You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.
- You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.
- Your favorite version of “A Christmas Carol” stars Bill Clinton.
- Your favorite version of “Babes in Toyland” stars Michael Jackson.
- You get your Christmas tree at a rest stop at night.
- You get your Christmas tree on December 26th, when they go on sale.
- You give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts.
- Your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon.
- Your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park.
- Your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log.
- You think “Ho, Ho, Ho” is a line from a Rocky movie.
- Your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat.
- You use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets.
- Your favorite version of “Silent Night” is sung by OJ Simpson.
- Your favorite version of “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas” involves the Ku Klux Klan.
- Your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin.