A series of “you might be a Democrat” jokes — with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.
- If you think the children of Illegal Aliens shouldn’t be penalized for the crimes of their parents, but all white people need to accept blame for what someone did 200 years ago … You might be a Democrat.
- If you’ve tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if only other people were only willing to redistribute their wealth … You might be a Democrat.
- And if you’ve ever referred to someone as a “bigot or Nazi” …
- If you oppose the death penalty, but support abortion …
- If you remember laughing once as an adult, and feeling guilty about it …
- But if you support diversity, as long as others agree with you …
- If you support PETA and Green Peace, but still eat beef, fish, lamb, and wear leather garments …
- If you want to protest something but don’t know what …
- And if you’ve ever said “I support civil liberties, but not personal liberties” …
- If you don’t mind contributing 4 months of your salary to the government — but take every deduction possible …
- If you believe that everyone else is responsible for you but you …
- And if you believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree
- If you ever started an argument with, “But they can afford a tax hike because…”
- If you keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category
- You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does …
- You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies …
- If you call call illegal immigrants “Undocumented Democrats” — You’re definitely a Democrat.