Funny movie quotes from Jitterbugs, starring Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy
Oliver: Well, we’re out of gas.
Stan: That’s all right — we’ve got our gas rationing card.
Oliver: Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!
Oliver: [Stan’s supposed to be pushing the car, but sits next to Oliver] Who’s pushing this thing?
Stan: Well, I forgot to tell ya, I borrowed a mule when we were stopped.
Oliver: Well, I guess a mule’s as good as donkey any day.
Oliver: We’re the only two-man band in the world! Equal to Harry Miller, Tommy Dorsey and Spike Jones!
Oliver: Come on, hep cats, we’re going to spread a load of jam!
Chester Wright: We’ve got to go back!
Stan and Ollie: Go back? Why?
Chester Wright: Her mother was gypped out of ten thousand dollars!
Oliver: [whistles] That’s a lot of dough!
Stan: That’s a lot of money, too.
Oliver: Stanley, do you believe in love at first sight?
Stan: It certainly saves a lot of time!
Stanley: They could name their first baby Stanley.
Oliver: What’s wrong with Oliver?
Stanley: Stanley.
Oliver: Oliver!
Stanley: Stanley’s a nice name. They could have twins.
Oliver: We’ll suggest that to them.
Stan: [disguised as a woman] My name is Potts — P-O-otts, Potts.
Oliver: [toasting] To the fairest flower in the garden of Southern womanhood!
Oliver: Mary Lou, Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!
Oliver: Are you trying to bribe an officer of the law?
Stan: Not me! I’m not going to be a dame!
…
Stan: [in drag] Don’t mind the colonel, he grows on you.
Henry Corcoran: He won’t grow on me!
Stan: You know, Ollie, I was just thinking.
Oliver: About what?
Stan: Nothing; I was just thinking.
Oliver: We’re practically wrapped in concrete now!
Stan: At the bottom of the Mississippi.
Stan [in drag]: I’m one of those “nip and tuck” drinkers.
Henry Corcoran: What’s that, Miss Emily?
Stan: One nip and you can tuck me away for the night!
Gangster: Take these two Halloween masks down to the boiler room until I figure out what to do with them!
Oliver: You’re going to get a nasty letter from our lawyers for that Halloween crack!
Oliver: [covered in coal] Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!
Guardian gangster: [having eaten one of the “gas” pills] What’re in those pills?
Stan: We tried to warn you!
Oliver: [closing lines] We’re going down for the third time!
Stan: I’m sorry, Ollie!