Funny movie quotes from The Fuller Brush Man starring Red Skelton
Funny movie quotes from Red Skelton’s first blockbuster movie, ‘The Fuller Brush Man’, co-starring Janet Blair
Red Jones (Red Skelton): So what if I was late to a fire? I saved the house.
Ann Elliot (Janet Blair): By that the the house had already burnt to the ground.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): But I saved it; I’ve got the ashes at home in a little box.
Wallick: I bet you told the commissioner off.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): I gave him a piece of my mind.
Wallick: That’ll set him back a couple of years.
Ann Elliot (Janet Blair): Give him a chance.
Wallick: Okay, but it’s like watering a weed with champagne.
‘Baby’: When I ask men to do something, they eat out of my hand.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): I’ve already had my lunch.
‘Baby’: They can’t get me out of their blood.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): This is no time for a transfusion.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Stop squeezing my Adam’s apple!
Commisioner Trist [choking Red]: I’m not squeezing your Adam’s apple!
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Then why am I tasting cider?
holding out Fuller Brush case] Who gets this?
Red Jones (Red Skelton): I might as well take it – I always get left holding the bag.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): [giving skirt back, after having accidentally ripped it] Put that on!
Sara Franzen: Where?
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Same place you had it before!
Freddie: [going to hide in the kitchen] Let her in! And remember, this gun is loaded.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): So’s the kitchen.
Lt. Quint: Are you with him or against him?
Ann Elliot (Janet Blair): With him … when he’s in trouble.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Isn’t it wonderful? I’m always in trouble.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): That’s right son, I used to be a big game hunter. It got so I didn’t have to shoot the critters, they see me coming, they just up and surrendered.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Don’t stop me if you’ve heard it, because I’m dying to hear it again. It seems there was a fellow about to be electrocuted, and the warden said to him, ‘Do you have any last wish?’ The man says, ‘Yeah, I wish you was sitting on my lap.’
Ann Elliot (Janet Blair): If she weren’t guilty, she would have never denied buying those brushes.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): That’s her story, but her husband got stuck with it.
Criminal: What do you mean, extra aces?
Red Jones (Red Skelton): I saw you hide them under the blotter. Murder’s one thing, but cheating at cards’tsk tsk. You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
Radio, with businessman listening: An now, we shall hear the senator from Massachuessets, who will speak on what the government should do about big business.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): [interrupting radio broadcast] Blow ’em up! Blow ’em up! Hurry! Blow ’em up!
Businessman: That’s the Democrats for you!
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Fine camouflage net, everywhere I go, they see me!
Red Jones (Red Skelton): [kisses Ann, then blows out smoke] What a kiss.
Ann Elliot (Janel Blair): [blows out smoke] What a Fuller Brush Man.
Wallick: Arrest that man!
Lt. Quint: [as Red and Ann are kissing] Why, is there a law against it?