Funny movie quotes from The Cocoanuts, starring the Marx Brothers (Groucho, Chico, Harpo, Zeppo)
Chico: Right now I’d do anything for money. I’d kill somebody for money. I’d kill you for money.
[Harpo looks dejected.]
Chico: Ha ha ha. Ah, no. You’re my friend. I’d kill you for nothing.
[Harpo smiles]
Groucho: Hey, hey! You know that suitcase is empty?
Chico: That’s all right. We fill it up before we leave.
Groucho: I’m gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there’ll be no cover charge.
Groucho: Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I’ve got a nickel in my pocket.
Groucho: Wages? Do you want to be wage slaves? Answer me that!
Bellhops: No.
Groucho: No, of course not. But what makes wage slaves? Wages!
Groucho: What would you like? Would you like a suite on the third floor?
Chico: No. I’ll take a Pollack in the basement.
Zeppo: Any luck with the 4:30?
Groucho: Yeah. It didn’t hit me.
[Answering telephone]
Groucho: Hello? Yes? Ice water in 318? Is that so? Where’d you get it? Oh, you want some.
Margaret Dumont: Get out of this room, or I’ll scream for the servants.
Groucho: Let the servants know! Let the whole world know! About us!
Margaret Dumont: You must leave my room. We must have regard for certain conventions.
Groucho: One guy isn’t enough, she’s gotta have a convention.
Groucho: Now here is a little peninsula and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico: Why a duck?
Groucho: Why, it’s the most exclusive residential district in Florida. *Nobody* lives there.
[on phone]
Groucho: Believe me, you gotta get up early if you want to get out of bed.
[The Marx Brothers are chasing each other through Mrs. Potter’s suite]
Groucho: This hotel not only has running water. It has running guests!
Groucho: All along the river, those are all levees.
Chico: That’s the Jewish neighborhood?
Groucho: Well, we’ll pass over that.
Groucho: You can have any kind of a home you want. You can even get stucco. Oh, how you can get stucco.
Groucho: Jail is no place for a young fellow. There’s no advancement.