Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows – Bud Abbott and Lou Costello became famous for their well-known “Who’s on First?” routine — if they were alive today, the routine might focus on Microsoft Windows instead ….
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, “Who’s on first?’ might have turned out something like this:
Bud Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
Lou Costello: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
Bud Abbott: Mac?
Lou Costello: No, the name’s Lou.
Bud Abbott: Your computer?
Lou Costello: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
Bud Abbott: Mac?
Lou Costello: I told you, my name’s Lou.
Bud Abbott: What about Windows?
Lou Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Bud Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Lou Costello: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
Bud Abbott: Wallpaper.
Bud Abbott: Software for Windows?
Lou Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
Bud Abbott: Office.
Lou Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Bud Abbott: I just did.
Lou Costello: You just did what?
Bud Abbott: Recommend something.
Lou Costello: You recommended something?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: For my office?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Bud Abbott: Office.
Lou Costello: Yes, for my office!
Bud Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.
Lou Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Bud Abbott: Word.
Lou Costello: What word?
Bud Abbott: Word in Office.
Lou Costello: The only word in office is office.
Bud Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Lou Costello: Which word in office for windows?
Bud Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue “W’.
Lou Costello: I’m going to click your blue “w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Bud Abbott: Yes, you want Real One.
Lou Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
Bud Abbott: Real One.
Lou Costello: If it’s a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
Bud Abbott: Of course.
Lou Costello: Great! With what?
Bud Abbott: Real One.
Lou Costello: OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
Bud Abbott: You click the blue “1’.
Lou Costello: I click the blue one what?
Bud Abbott: The blue “1’.
Lou Costello: Is that different from the blue w?
Bud Abbott: The blue “1’ is Real One and the blue “W’ is Word.
Lou Costello: What word?
Bud Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Lou Costello: But there are three words in “office for windows’!
Bud Abbott: No, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in the world.
Lou Costello: It is?
Bud Abbott: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
Lou Costello: And that word is real one?
Bud Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office.
Lou Costello: STOP! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
Bud Abbott: Money.
Lou Costello: That’s right. What do you have?
Bud Abbott: Money.
Lou Costello: I need money to track my money?
Bud Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer.
Lou Costello: What’s bundled with my computer?
Bud Abbott: Money.
Lou Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Bud Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.
Lou Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Bud Abbott: One copy.
Lou Costello: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
Bud Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Lou Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?
Bud Abbott: Why not? They own it!
(A few days later)
Bud Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
Lou Costello: How do I turn my computer off?
Bud Abbott: Click on “START’…….