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Grizzly bear joke [Red Skelton Show]

Red Skelton told the story of his young son Richard, supposedly meeting a grizzly bear while on vacation. From The Red Skelton Show episode, Willie Comes Home.

Meeting the grizzly bear

“You shoulda been with us. We was up in the mountains. A great big bear took after me. He was a grizzly bear, a great big grizzly bear. And he started after me, and I’m up in the mountains, I go no place to go, so I ran up an alley.”

The other kid says, “Wait a minute, buster, wait a minute I thought you was in the mountains.”

He says, “The Alleghenies. Anyhow, this bear we was playing nip and tuck. Every time I took a step, he nipped the seat right oughta me pants here. So finally I ran until I couldn’t go any further and my back was against a wall, so I put up my old rusty gun …”

The other kid says, “Hold it, buster, hold it. Trusty gun.” He says, “Have you ever seen it?” The other kid says, “No, I’ve never seen it.” He says, I don’t take very good care of it, and it’s an old rusty gun. So anyhow, I shoot it and nothing happens. Nothing happens. So the bear is coming at me ferocious. Oh his mouth is as wide open as can be, and his big fangs are sticking down, so I hauled off, I’m gonna bust him right in the nose, and I missed his nose, and I missed his nose, and I went right down through his tummy, grabbed ahold of his wittle tail, turned him wrong side out, and he ran the other way.

He got down to the road and he just start laughin’ and laughin’, and finally he rolled over dead. The hair on the inside of him tickled him to death.”

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