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Funny movie quotes from Vivacious Lady

Funny movie quotes from Vivacious Lady – where a stuffy college professor (Jimmy Stewart) marries a nightclub singer (Ginger Rogers) … and then tries to hide the marriage from his family & colleagues!

Hattie – Maid at Prom Dance (Hattie McDaniel): If my husband wouldn’t let me smoke, I’d find me a way to get me a husband that would.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): It depends on which you enjoy the most.

Helen (Frances Mercer): You know, Peter and I are engaged to be married.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Oh, is that so?

Helen (Frances Mercer): Not that I think knowing that would make a big difference to you.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Well, no.

Helen (Frances Mercer): You see, Peter needs protection against a certain type of woman.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Oh, I could work on that.

Helen (Frances Mercer): Now, are you going to mind your own businesses, or must I really give you a piece of my mind?

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Oh, I couldn’t take the last piece.

[the female fisticuffs begin after this, with Helen slapping Francey

Francey (Ginger Rogers): I think she’s wonderful.

Keith Morgan (James Ellison): She is. She was my favorite aunt before she married my uncle.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Oh, sweetheart. Here we are arguing in public and nobody even knows we’re married.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): It’s good, we can’t even quarrel in public, because you won’t tell them we’re married.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): On the other hand, if we want to quarrel in public, why shouldn’t we quarrel in public?

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Well, all married people quarrel in public; because, it’s one of the nice things about being married!

Francey (Ginger Rogers): If she gets any closer to him, she’ll be behind him.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Some drunk does it every night. Oh, I don’t mean that I think that you’re swacked.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): I beg your pardon?

Francey (Ginger Rogers): I said, I don’t mean that I think you’re – tight.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Well, I’m not intoxicated.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): No kidding?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): No! No.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): You could let me say something. I’d like to make an impression too.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Oh, well, you don’t have to say anything.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): No?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart).: No. You speak for yourself – and very elegantly too!

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Did you like my dance?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Well, you were singing when I came in.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Oh, you didn’t see my dance? Where I wear the little thing with the sequins?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): No.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Oh, I’m sorry! That’s the best number I do! Oh, I want you to see it.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Why?

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Oh, it’s a great number.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart).: Oh, is that so?

Francey (Ginger Rogers): It’s terrific.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): You’re good!

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Sure, I’m good!

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart).: Do you think things out carefully?

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Things? Oh, what things?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Just – things.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): You mean small things or important things?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Oh, everything.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Well, if they’re small things, I never do; but, for important things, I never do either.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Well, I think you ought to think them out. Because, a bunch of times the small things develop into very important things.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Yes, but you just think things out and they happen anyhow.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Well, you mean, they’re some things you just can’t control, huh?

Francey (Ginger Rogers): I don’t think you can control anything!

[leans up, gives Peter a quick kiss on the lips, turns around, rushes inside]

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Hey! What are you tryin’ to do? Lose me?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Oh, no. Oh, I’m never gonna lose you.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): You better not. It took a day to happen, I’m in love with you for always.

Nagging Wife of Man Shaving on Train: Every time I take trip with you, something always happens.

Henpecked Husband Shaving on Train: Is that so?

Nagging Wife of Man Shaving on Train: And I guess when I don’t take a trip with you, something happens!

Henpecked Husband Shaving on Train: You don’t say?

Nagging Wife of Man Shaving on Train: Oh, you needn’t get smart. I know what I’m married to. You haven’t fooled me. Not for a minute! But, I don’t care!

Henpecked Husband Shaving on Train: Now, look here, why can’t you be a nice baby and keep quiet? Before I pin your big ears back!

Henpecked Husband Shaving on Train: I wish you had a mother to go back to.

Nagging Wife of Man Shaving on Train: I wish I had another husband to go back to.

Henpecked Husband Shaving on Train: All right, all right. I’ll get you one at the next station.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Peter, what does a professor’s wife have to do? I meant to ask you yesterday.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Oh, mostly just keep the professor happy, that’s all.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Who’s that?

Keith Morgan (James Ellison): That’s Helen. Just the girl he’s engaged to.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Why, he’s a bigamist.

Keith Morgan (James Ellison): Only in the second degree. She’s something the old man whipped up. You know, blue blood, black tongue, thoroughbred.

Peter Morgan, Sr. (Charles Coburn): Peter, the Student Council meets this afternoon. As a member of the Advisory Committee, you’re going to be there, of course. Furthermore, we’re having the usual Spring difficulties between our male and female students, a little early this season. Too much fraternizing in the lockers.

Peter Morgan, Sr. (Charles Coburn): Don’t shout! Shouting is the effort of a limited mind to express itself!

Francey (Ginger Rogers): [Helen slaps Francey] Now, what did you do that for? I’m only gonna have to hit you right back.

[Francey slaps Helen]

Helen (Frances Mercer): Why you contemptible little blonde! How dare you slap me! You can’t get away with that! Who do you think you are?

[Helen slaps Francey]

Helen (Frances Mercer): There! And that’s one for you and there’s plenty more where that came from. And I won’t keep still. I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!

[Francey slaps Helen]

Helen (Frances Mercer): How dare you! How dare you! You can’t do that to me! I won’t keep still! I won’t! I won’t!

[Francey slaps Helen]

Helen (Frances Mercer): I just told you, you can’t do that to me! Stop shhhing! I won’t keep quiet! I don’t care who hears! I don’t care if the whole Club hears me!

[Helen kicks Francey]

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Ow! Oooo!

[Helen kicks Francey again]

Francey (Ginger Rogers): All right, put ’em up.

Culpepper – Teaching Assistant (Grady Sutton): Botany is really the romance of life – and before you’re through with this class, you’ll never again want to walk on a blade of grass.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Is that so?

Culpepper – Teaching Assistant (Grady Sutton): Well, yeah, honey. Plants are just like us! At first they’re playfully young and then they grow up and become a little more serious. If you know what I mean.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): All right teacher. [kisses Peter] Thank you, teacher.

Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi): May I have a cigarette?

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Your heart!

Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi): Oh, nonsense.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): Peter told me you had heart trouble.

Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi): Oh, well, maybe I do have heart trouble – when it’s convenient. Whenever my husband raises his voice, oh my dear, it saves so much wear and tear and you don’t have to listen to a lot of boring details about running a university. They bring in your meals in bed. It’s quiet and love – it’s lovely! Why, I’ve spent the best years of my married life – in bed with heart trouble.

Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi): Oh, New York will be so much fun!

Francey (Ginger Rogers): So many gay places.

Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi): We can go where we want to.

Francey (Ginger Rogers): And do what we want to.

Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi): And wear what we want to – without any husbands to…

Francey (Ginger Rogers): To watch out after us.

Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi): To bother us.

Peter Morgan, Sr. (Charles Coburn): That car, in the bluebook value, is into $200.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Yeah, well the bluebook value of my wife is a little more than $200 and I’m not going to trade her in, either.

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Dad, it looks as though you have a decision to make.

Peter Morgan, Sr. (Charles Coburn): Well, what do you suggest?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): I just suggest that you decide what you want most: your high horse or your wife.

Francey (Ginger Rogers).: Oh, darling, how did you get here?

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): A honeymoon without a husband is sort of silly, don’t you think?

Peter Morgan, Sr. (Charles Coburn): Coming, my dear?

Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi): Coming? I’m going!

Peter Morgan, Jr. (Jimmy Stewart): Forms from a single, delicate cell. Is that clear now?

Miss Barton – Botany Student: Yes, Professor. But, I still don’t understand, in the reproduction of ferns, which matures first: the male or the female?

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