Funny movie quotes from The Big Store starring the Marx Brothers (Groucho, Chico, Harpo), Margaret Dumont, Tony Martin
Woman Shopper: [to Flywheel lying on a bed] Can you tell me the price of this bed?
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): $8000
Shopper: Why that’s preposterous! I can get the same bed anywhere in town for $25.
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): Yes, but not with me in it!
Martha Phelps (Margaret Dumont): Tell me, Wolfie dear, will we have a beautiful home?
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): Of course. You’re not planning on moving, are you?
Martha Phelps (Margaret Dumont): No, but, uh, I’m afraid after we’re married awhile, a beautiful young girl will come along, and, uh, you’ll forget all about me.
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): Don’t be silly. I’ll write you twice a week.
Mr. Grover (Douglas Dumbrille): If Ms. Phelps were not my fiancée, I would turn in my resignation and walk out of this store for good!
Martha Phelps (Margaret Dumont): Oh no, no’¦
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): Fiancée?
Martha Phelps (Margaret Dumont): Yes.
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): You mean a woman of your culture and money and beauty and money and wealth and money would, would marry that imposter?
Ravelli (Chico Marx): I take-a your picture. Hey! Look at me and laugh.
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): I’ve been doing that for 20 years.
[Wolf is about to propose to Martha]
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): Martha, dear, there are many bonds that will hold us together through eternity.
Martha Phelps (Margaret Dumont): Really, Wolf? What are they?
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): Your government bonds, your savings bonds, your liberty bonds ‘¦
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): [Flywheel has mistaken the Hastings brothers for the killers and handcuffed them] There you are. I give you the killers.
Tommy Rogers (Tony Martin): Why, it’s the Hastings brothers, the men who are going to buy the store.
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): Gentlemen, I’m terribly sorry, but it’s really not my fault. You certainly do look like crooks.
Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx): [In ‘Sing While You Sell’ number] Come on, Wacky: Nagasaki!
Guiseppi: [to Wacky] Hey, pressa’ the grapes ‘ no pressa’ my wife!