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Funny movie quotes from L’il Abner

Funny Movie Quotes from L’il Abner (1959)

Mammy Yoakum (Billie Hayes): I has spoken.

Daisy Mae (Leslie Parrish): Why it’s the Bar Harbor Scraggs.
Romeo Scragg (Robert Strauss): Yeah, they’ve been barred from every harbor in the country.

Mayor Daniel D. Dogmeat (Alan Carney): Romeo Scragg, do you claim to be Daisy Mae’s kissin’ kin?
Romeo Scragg (Robert Strauss): Yes, and that’s the whole trouble.
Mayor Daniel D. Dogmeat (Alan Carney): Trouble?
Romeo Scragg (Robert Strauss): Yeah, I’d like to kiss her, but I don’t think I kin!

Gen. Bullmoose (Howard St. John): [talking about Appassionata von Climax] She works for me. She gets a salary, She sorts of lives with me.
Li’l Abner Yokum (Peter Palmer): [to Appassionata von Climax] Really? Does that mean you gets bed and board, ma’m?
Appassionata Von Climax (Stella Stevens): Extremely!

Sen. Jack S. Phogbound (Ted Thurston): I’ll bet you were wondering what I’ve been doing up there in Washington, D.C. these past eighteen years.
Mammy Yoakum (Billie Hayes): We didn’t care, as long as you was there and we was here!

Gen. Bullmoose (Howard St. John): Appasionata, you should have been here an hour ago! Why are you so late?
Appassionata Von Climax (Stella Stevens): I had to make up.
Gen. Bullmoose (Howard St. John): Your face?
Appassionata Von Climax (Stella Stevens): No, with the chauffeur — € we had a fight!
Gen. Bullmoose (Howard St. John): [to his cronies] Remind me to fire that chauffeur!

Mammy Yoakum (Billie Hayes): [talking about going to the city] You gals are going to have to go through a before-marriage custom called “engagement”.
Moonbeam McSwine (Carmen Álvarez): Engagement, what’s that?
Mammy Yoakum (Billie Hayes): That’s the part before the gal says “Shore do!” € and the preacher says “Go, too!”€
Moonbeam McSwine (Carmen Álvarez): How long this engagement thing last?
Mammy Yoakum (Billie Hayes): Sometimes a whole month.
Moonbeam McSwine (Carmen Álvarez): A whole month? What are they, insecure?

Available Jones (William Lanteau): [being introduced to Gen. Bullmoose] Well, howdy General! Welcome to Dogpatch. I’d say “€œwhat’s your pleasure?”, but I see you done brought it with you.
[Looks directly at Appasionata]

Daisy Mae (Leslie Parrish): [about growing old and unmarried] I looked in the mirror this morning and most of my good years are gone.
Marryin’ Sam (Stubby Kaye): I guess you’re right. After all, you is pushing eighteen.

Mammy Yoakum (Billie Hayes): Is you inferring you has money?
Earthquake McGoon (Bern Hoffman): Lady, I is filthy with it.
Mammy Yoakum (Billie Hayes): Mister, you is filthy without it.

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