When the Rabbi meets the Trids the result is … an atrocious pun, which I hope you enjoy!
This is the story of a Rabbi named Steven. Steven was lost in the mountains of Bolivia one day. He had embarked from Lima weeks ago, but his translator had taken a rather nasty tumble and was no longer with him. But the Rabbi continued. He walked forward and up, perhaps being guided by a higher force. On the eighth day of his adventure in the mountains, he stumbled upon a beautiful river in a valley. So he decided to follow it for as long as he could.
He walked for another day until he came across a tiny village on a small island in the middle of the river. And tiny means tiny, literally miniature. The small twig huts were only a few inches tall each. The largest about two feet, and the smallest about half a foot. This, of course, intrigued Steven, so he waded into the river, and crossed to the island. When there, he realised what a state of disrepair many of the buildings were in. They were all dust free, but most of them had holes in them, or entire portions missing. It appeared as though a mini tornado had passed through.
He carefully walked around the little village until he stumbled (almost literally) upon a very small, barbaric, hospital. When he listened carefully, he could hear tiny shouts of agony coming from within. He, very lightly, tapped on the door, and a little person, no more than 3 inches tall, stepped out. She was dressed in doctor-like clothes and had some tiny pink splotches of blood plastered on her clothing. She looked up at the Rabbi and let out a tiny shriek. The rabbi was taken aback and slowly sat down. The little woman ran back into the hospital, and he heard the tiny shrieks of agony silenced. But the rabbi just sat there.
Days later, one of the other little doctors poked his or her head out. Very quietly, Steven said “hello.” This confused, and obviously frightened the small creature, but it was brave. It stepped out into the street, and though it was visibly shaking, it yelled up to him, “we don’t have any more fire crystals! Go away!” This confused the rabbi, of course, so he whispered back “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m new to this area, and don’t know what you are.” So, the small creature patiently explained: they were a race of creatures that called themselves “Trids”.
They had a very peaceful society, but a week ago, during the celebration of the Day of Fire, a huge troll ran down from one of the adjacent mountains, and stole their fire crystal, rumoured to be the source of all fire and energy in the village. The Trids gathered their armies, and sent them up to the Troll’s cave at the top of the mountain, but the Trids all got kicked back down the mountain. So the Trids gathered their militia and sent them up, but they got kicked right back down the mountain. Then the Trids gathered their farmers and workers, and sent them up the mountain, but they all got kicked back down. And by the time they were ready to send another wave they realised that they only had a handful of doctors left uninjured. And so the rabbi offered to help, he’d get the fire crystal back. So he slept on the shore of the island, and then when he woke up at a time resembling midnight, he started his trek up the mountain.
He climbed ever so slowly, avoiding making an excess of noise. Eventually, he got to the cave, and slowly sneaked inside. He saw the troll sleeping in a corner, and did a double take. This being was massive, twice as tall as he, and thrice as wide. So he made his way very slowly over to the droves of treasure that this troll had in the corner. He made it in a minute or two, grabbed all the rubies he saw, and turned around. He was about to get out of the cave when SNAP!
He had stepped on a twig. He slowly turned around, and the troll was awake, and up. The hulking figure was breathing very heavily, and simply staring at the rabbi. Steven did what any sane man would have; he bolted. He ran faster and further than he ever thought possible, but eventually he noticed that the troll wasn’t chasing him. So he turned around. Ignoring all common sense, he started to walk back to the cave where the troll lived. Approaching the cave, he yelled in “Troll! What happened? Why didn’t you chase me and kick me down the mountain?” Then the troll came into the light, Steven was able to appreciate the full size of the beast. A great roaring laugh suddenly erupted from the creature.
The hulking figure looked at Steven and simply said, “Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids!”