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How to survive Thanksgiving at Liberal relatives

Thanksgiving Turkey
How to survive Thanksgiving at Liberal relatives – a few suggestions … ARRIVAL ‘€œYour home looks lovely. Almost like it’€™s worth what you paid for it. Obama didn’€™t help with that yet, did he? Oh, well, maybe next term. May I use your bathroom?’€ In the unlikely event...
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Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time
Everybody has trouble cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time — even so, this is ridiculous … The clown was spending his first Thanksgiving dinner apart from his family. Trying to make the most of the holiday, he prepared a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for himself. By himself. Alone....
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Stuff a turkey

Stuff a turkey
The turkey shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air, it knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair. It ricocheted into a corner and burst with a deafening boom, then splattered all over the kitchen, completely obscuring the room.
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Twas the Night of Thanksgiving

Twas the Night of Thanksgiving poem - enjoy the joke
A poem, with apologies to Clement Moore’s ‘The Night Before Thanksgiving’, about Thanksgiving evening … ‘€™Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn’€™t sleep. I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep The leftovers beckoned — The dark meat and white, But I fought the temptation with...
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Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Finding the Thanksgiving turkey - frozen
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Thanksgiving quotes from a variety of sources … my favorite is Erma Bombeck’s observation on how long it takes to prepare Thanksgiving dinner versus how long it takes to eat it … and why! Irv Kupcinet An optimist is a person who starts a...
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Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

Thanksgiving day weather forecast
Thanksgiving Weather Forecast – A weather forecast with 100% accuracy – for the fourth Thursday in November, aka Thanksgiving In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an...
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Grandma, I can hardly wait to see that turkey

Grandma, I can hardly wait to see that turkey
On the way to Thanksgiving, the youngest grandchild calls on the way to her house: ‘€œGrandma, I can hardly wait to see that turkey, and the big smile on your face!’€ The grandmother replies, ‘€œWhich are you most excited to see?’€
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Things not to do at Thanksgiving

Things not to do at Thanksgiving – Frankly, this sounds like a list of things that my younger brother would do — please don’t! Fill your plate up, and then take it to the kitchen, toss all of the food into the blender, and take your “shake” back to the...
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One line Thanksgiving jokes

Family at Thanksgiving
One line Thanksgiving jokes, or ‘groaners’ as my mother-in-law calls them … unless Alex Trebek tells them, of course What did the turkey say just before he was roasted? Boy, am I stuffed! What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock. How did the Mayflower...
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