poetry – ‘Twas the night before Christmas – a clown version T’was the night before Christmas and all through our towns The birthday King has summoned His clowns Clowns to bring joy in the midst of the night, Clowns to share happiness for children’s delight. With strange colored hair, and size seventeen shoes, with pants […]
Tis not the season – A parody of Deck the Halls talking about the perversion of what Christmas is supposed to be about – suitable for clown skits (To the tune of “Deck The Halls”) ‘Tis the season to be greedy! Fa la la la la, La la la la! Treat ourselves, forget the needy! […]
Republicans versus Democrats on celebrating Christmas – And you thought you could tell Republicans from Democrats by how they vote. Not so! Just observe how they act during the holidays…… Republican say “Merry Christmas!” Democrats say “Happy Holidays!” Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army. Democrats help the poor […]
Is Santa Claus a Time Lord? I have figured out how you can explain Santa Claus to your children. Clearly, Santa is a Time Lord from Gallifrey, like Doctor Who. Here are my solutions to the most common objections: 1) How does he fit all the toys in that tiny sleigh? Actually, it’s not a sleigh. […]
Revised Tale of Bethlehem – A very funny retelling of the birth of Jesus, deflating some of the ridiculousness of the Politically Correct movement And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a Son and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid […]
Funny movie quotes from White Christmas, with many funny lines between Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye Phil Davis (Danny Kaye): When what’s left of you gets around to what’s left to be gotten, what’s left to be gotten won’t be worth getting, whatever it is you’ve got left.
Recipe for Tequila Christmas cookies – Under no circumstances should you actually try to follow the recipe! Ingredients: 1 cup of water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp. salt 1 cup of brown sugar 1 tbsp. lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups of dried fruit 1 bottle tequila