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Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and like to Complain About Our Pets

  1. They live here. You don’t.
  2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture (that’s why they call it “fur”niture.)
  3. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly. Dogs are better than kids…
    • Dogs eat less
    • Dogs don’t ask for money all the time
    • Dogs are easier to train
    • Dogs usually come when called
    • Dogs never drive your car
    • Dogs don’t hang out with drug-using friends (unless the cat that also lives here has a cat-nip addiction, but that won’t kill him/her).
    • Dogs don’t smoke or drink
    • Dogs don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions
    • Dogs don’t wear your clothes
    • Dogs don’t need a gazillion dollars for university
    • If the dogs get pregnant, you can sell the children.

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