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More witty sayings

More witty sayings

more witty sayings, such as “If at first you don’t succeed, then sky diving isn’t for you.”

  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set
  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • I feel like I’€™m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  • I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Remember half the people you know are below average.
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
  • Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
  • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  • I intend to live forever – so far so good.
  • Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back.
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
  • The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
  • Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
  • When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  • For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
  • The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
  • The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  • To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
  • Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
  • Two wrongs are only the beginning.
  • The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  • The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
  • Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.
  • Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
  • If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
  • How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand…
  • Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.

 

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