Jeff Foxworthy – you might live in Wisconsin if …

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a Redneck …” we proudly present: You might live in Wisconsin if …

  • If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy”, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you have either a pet or a child named “Brett”, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie, and Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.
  • If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, “From the land of sky-blue waters,” you might live in Wisconsin.

 

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