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Funny movie quotes from Miss Grant takes Richmond

Funny movie quotes from Miss Grant Takes Richmond

In Miss Grant takes Richmond, Dick Richmond (William Holden) is a sharp bookmaker whose unproductive real estate office is a cover for his gambling operation. Unaware of his real line of work, eager but incompetent Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball) signs on as Dick’s secretary and presses him into a building project to ease the post-war housing shortage. Dick siphons the cash from unsuspecting home buyers to pay his debts to a big-time syndicate, leaving his ditzy secretary charged with embezzlement. Now, Dick must choose between the easy, grifting lifestyle or saving his secretary’s hide!

Quotes

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): Why, the President of the United States started in a haberdashery.
Judge: You think he’€™s any better off now?


Dick Richmond (William Holden): Well, Richmond takes Miss Grant.


Mr. Woodruff (Charles Lane): Try not to disgrace the Woodruff Secretarial School too much.
Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): Don’€™t worry, Mr. Woodruff’€”I tied up my last nickel to become a secretary.  I’€™ll make good if it kills me.
Mr. Woodruff (Charles Lane): I’€™ll send flowers.


Frustrated house hunter: You’€™ve got to help me! My wife’€™s going to have triplets!
James Gleason: And you want me to help you?


Dick Richmond (William Holden): We’€™ll never get caught.  She’€™s the dumbest one in the whole school.
James Gleason: So was my wife, but I’€™m still payin’€™ her alimony!


Hood: [answering the phone] It’€™s Dick. Are you in?
Peggy Donato: I’€™m always in for Dick.


Dick Richmond (William Holden): Oh, we’€™re just trying to make ends meet, down at the office.
Peggy Donato: …and succeeding, no doubt.


Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): I didn’€™t think they’€™d pour the cement so fast.
Construction Foreman Roberts: Fast and hard, Miss Grant.


Imitating gangsters

[Dick and Peggy are about to have a drink. Ellen enters, dressed in a trenchcoat and fedora, with an unlit cigarette dangling from her lip, acting the part of the tough moll. She is followed by her ‘€œgang,’€ similarly garbed, consisting of her father, Ralph, and another man]
Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): [to her ‘€œboys’€] Gimp! Louie! Fingers!

[to Peggy]
Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): Musclin’€™ in on my organization, huh? Hijackin’€™ my key man. You’€™re in a jam, sister!

Dick Richmond (William Holden): Listen, Ellen, I made a deal.

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): [slaps him twice, knocking him over] Shut up, ya rat! So ya tried to shake me for this tahmata, huh?
Peggy Donato: [to Dick, angry and upset] What is this? You said she was only a front!

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): Just a front? So that’€™s the pitch!

Dick Richmond (William Holden): [getting up off the floor] Please, Ellen, you’€™ll only get hurt if they’€¦
[Ellen slaps him across the face hard several times]

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): [menacingly] Are you tryin’€™ to threaten me?
[to Peggy]

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): Look sister, you’€™re leavin’€™ here without this lug, or ya ain’€™t leavin’€™ at all.
[shoves her onto the sofa]

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): Now what’€™s it gonna be?

Peggy Donato: I paid fifty grand for him!

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): OK, boys, reason with ‘€˜er!
[they start toward Peggy]

Peggy Donato: Wait a minute; that stuff went out years ago.

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): Well I’€™m bringin’€™ it back!

Dick Richmond (William Holden): Ellen, for heaven’€™s sake’€¦
[she slaps him with the back of her hand, knocking him to the floor again]

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): OK, boys, what’€™re we waitin’€™ for?

Peggy Donato: No, no don’€™t shoot. That’€™s not the way to settle things. We’€™ll have every cop in town after us.
[Peggy’€™s boys file in silently behind Ellen]

Peggy Donato: After all, he’€™s not the only key man in the business, there are lots of good operators.

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): I thought you’€™d come around. They always do when the chips are down.

Dick Richmond (William Holden): [watching Peggy’€™s boys approach] Ellen, you haven’€™t got any chips.
[she slaps him again]

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): I’€™ll get to you later.
[to Peggy]

Ellen Grant (Lucille Ball): And if you ever try to cross me again, you’€™re gonna wind up with a lead girdle! Light me up, Gimp!
[All four of Peggy’€™s boys offer Ellen a light, and she finally realizes the worm has turned]

Peggy Donato: The rod, Bright Eyes.
[Ellen hands Peggy the ‘€œgun’€ she has had concealed in her pocket, which turns out to be the insides of a pencil sharpener]


 

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