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Funny movie quotes from I’ll Never Heil Again

Funny movie quotes from I’ll Never Heil Again starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, Curly)

Funny movie quotes from I’ll Never Heil Again – the classic parody of the Nazis, starring the Three Stooges

Opening screen credit: The characters in this picture are all fictitious. Anyone resembling them is better off dead.


Prank caller: Have you got anything on?
Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): No, not at all.
Prank caller: You’ll catch cold.


Mr. Ixnay (Vernon Dent): If we aren’t on the level, may we be struck down on this spot.
[the King of Moronica splits a log and half of it goes up in the air and hits all three of them on the head]
Mr. Ixnay (Vernon Dent): What’s the matter, can’t you take a joke?


Minister of Propaganda (Larry Fine): As Minister of Propaganda, I wish to report that the people …
Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): I am not interested in the people! [hits Larry with shaving brush & shaving cream]
Minister of Propaganda (Larry Fine): [Larry tastes the cream] Good! [reaches for more]


Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): I want to know about my armies!  Have we taken the dikes of Holland?
Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): Certainly!  And the Van Dykes of Amsterdam!  And the Updikes of Rotterdam!  And the hunchback of Notre Dam!


Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): Hail!
Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): Hail!
Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): Hail!
Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): Hail!
Minister of Propaganda (Larry Fine): Heil!
Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): [pause] The hail you say!
Minister of Propaganda (Larry Fine): Oh, hail I say …


Princess Gilda: I am your new soothsayer, the seeress of Roebuck.
Minister of Propaganda (Larry Fine): Your father must be Roebuck.
Princess Gilda: No, for I was raised by Montgomery.
Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): Oh, you;re Montgomery’s ward!


Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): You used too much english.
Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): Never speak that word in this house!


Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): [after knocking out all the Axis Partners]
[Field Marshall Herring holding a globe] I have vanquished them, I am the winner, the world belongs to me. Give it to me.
Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): No, it’s mine!
Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): Give me that world, Herring. Or I’ll marinate you. Let me have it!
[Herring smashes it to pieces on Hailstone’s head]
Hailstone the Dictator (Moe Howard): My world … You nitwit, you shattered my world!
[Hailstone and Minister of Propaganda chase Herring around the table Hailstone throws a gavel at Herring and misses]
Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): Don’t do that!
[Hailstone throws the explosive 13 ball that Princess Gilda put on the pool table, Herring catches it, walks up to Hailstone]
Field Marshal Herring (Curly Howard): Listen, you! I’ve taken enough of you. This is the last straw!
[Throws the ball on the floor, all three are obscured by a massive explosion]

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