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Funny movie quotes from The Shakiest Gun in the West

Funny movie quotes from The Shakiest Gun in the West (1968) starring Don Knotts

Funny quotes from The Shakiest Gun in the West – a *very* funny movie starring Don Knotts and Rhonda Fleming, with Jackie Coogan, William Christopher and a (young) Pat Morita in supporting roles

Dr. Jesse Haywood (Don Knotts): Aw, ma …
Mrs. Haywood: Don’t ‘aw, ma’€ me.  It was your father’s sinuses that killed him.
Dr. Jesse Haywood (Don Knotts): He was run over by a beer wagon!
Mrs. Haywood: As he was blowing his nose in the middle of the street.


Dr. Jesse Haywood (Don Knotts): Just think, Ma, getting ready to head West.  In two days I’ll be in Ohio, in one week I’ll be in St. Louis, and in two months … California!
Mrs. Haywood: What an age we live in.  Things are moving too fast.


[On his dream of opening a dress shop]
Pop: Just because I’m rough ‘n’ dirty ‘n’ don’t wear underwear, doesn’t mean I’m not creative.


Deputy: I don’t know anything about grabbing women! I ain’t a married man!


Dr. Jesse Haywood (Don Knotts): I don’t like to be called a ‘tender ninny’.
Penny: Tender ninny.


Penny: What wonderful hands, the hands of a surgeon.
Dr. Jesse Haywood (Don Knotts): Well, hands have always run in my family.


Jesse Heywood (Don Knotts): I can’t believe it. Tonight’s our wedding night. In a few hours we’€™ll stop, make camp, have a little supper, then … beddy bye.


Reverend: Are you afraid of him?
Jackie Coogan: That’s part of it.  Besides, if he nicks me, it could ruin my good looks.


Penny: You’re a lot spunkier than I figured.
Dr. Jesse Haywood (Don Knotts): I get that from my mother.


Dr. Jesse Haywood (Don Knotts): A bloated thin failure, that’s me.


Dr. Jesse Haywood (Don Knotts): [inebriated] Brush your dentist twice a day, visit your toothbrush once a year.


Jesse Heywood (Don Knotts): [drunk in bar] I’m not a failure. I’m a dentist, a REAL dentist! And I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do I’m gonna spread dental health across the West like a plague!

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