Funny movie quotes from The Lemon Drop Kid

Funny movie quotes from The Lemon Drop Kid, starring Bob Hope, Marilyn Maxwell, William Frawley, Fred Clark — Bob Hope plays a small-time con artist (The Lemon Drop Kid) who owes a crime boss (Fred Clark) more than he can pay back, and with the help of Marilyn Maxwell and William Frawley plans a con to raise the money and save his life.

Race track guard 1: [about the Lemon Drop Kid] And to think that I bought one of his tips last week.
Race track guard 2: You, too?


Moose (Fred Clark): What’€™s the matter, Kid, you look kind of sick?
Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): No, I always turn green this time of year.


Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): First doctor I ever met who keeps what he took out and threw the patient away!


Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): It’€™s all the same to you if Sam [the surgeon] kills me now or doesn’€™t open me ‘€˜til Christmas!


Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): That judge didn’€™t look honest to me!
Police officer: He’€™s been on the bar for fifteen years.
Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): That’€™s just what I mean! Drinking on the job!


Sign: Nellie Thurston Home for Old Dolls


Little Girl: Are you coming to my house Christmas eve?
Gloomy Willie (William Frawley): Sure!
Little Girl: Will you bring a doll?
Gloomy Willie (William Frawley): No, my doll’€™s working.


Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): [blowing snow off the head of a statue] Dandruff!


Gloomy Willie (William Frawley): What’€™s a cow doing inside a house?
Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): Milton Berle is on tonight.


Old woman: You’€™ve still got your hourglass figure, dear.
Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): [in drag, disguised as an old woman] Thank you, dear.
Old woman: but most of the sand has settled to the bottom.


Gloomy Willie (William Frawley): You’€™re sweet too, pickle-nose’€¦ bring the chair.


Sidney Melbourne (Bob Hope): Santy Claus don’€™t drink.
Gloomy Willie (William Frawley): Oh, no? Well, how come he’€™s always falling down chimneys?


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